Judge — May 29, 1920 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Afterthought—* Did you hear about the defacement of Mr. Skinner's tomb stone?” asked Mr. Jones a few days after the funeral of that eminent captain of industry. “No, what was it? hor, curiously, “Some one added the word ‘friends’ to the epitaph.” “What was the ¢ “He did his best.’ inquired his neigh aph? London Tit Bits Black Hens’ Eggs—Ernest Hardeastle dropped into the Hennessy grocery dk partment yesterday and asked for “a dozen black hens’ eggs.” The puzzled clerk stared at him. “I can’t tell a black hen’s egg from a white one.” he said. “Tecan,” said Hardcastle “ALL right.” responded the clerk “go toit.”” Hardcastle began to pick through the case “Here,” exclaimed the clerk a moment later, “you can’t do that, you know. You are picking all the big eg Sure Tam,” said Ernest. “That's © way you tell a black hen’s egg.” — 1 Standard. A Disturber—It was a scrubby little room, in a scrubby little part of little city’s suburbs, and the London traveler didn’t approve at all. When he went to wash he found that er for the basin, no 1 scrubby there was no soap to wash with, and no towel to dry himself with. So he rang. Five minutes’ interim bringing no an swer, he rang again and then again and again, until his arm ached. At the end of 20 minutes a waiter of forbidding as. pect opened the door “Did you ring?” he inquired in a bass, rumbling voice. “Of course 1 did!” snapped the Lon n visitor. “Well,” said the waiter, as he with ‘don’t do it again! You'll wake Boston Globe Kidding—“ Doubtless,” said the pro- fessor to the returned traveler, “you have picked up many strange bits of in formation regarding the animals and virds of the countries you have visited?” “A few,” answered the — traveler. The most interesting thing I ever heard, however, was a story 1 gotin Mfriea, It seems that ay representative of house went through there and lost his Wr OF sO ago rubber-stamp sample case, containing all kinds of office stampitug apparatus, It appears that some ostriches found the case, broke it open. and swallowed — the samples.” “EL see nothing odd about that. Os triches will eat anything.” “Ves, but now every ostrich egg that is found there is numbered and dated: London Tit-Bits wallows Under the Eves ler (to inn-keeper) x y there are no flcas in your hotel? “L should say not! the bugs have eaten them all up."—Le 1ir-Méle (Paris). A Melancholy Encounter I weary of the optimist: who always tries a joyous twist and slips Dull Care upon the wrist In such an offhand way Who tells us life was only made for smiles all thoughtlessly arrayed in an elernal jazz parade Throughout cach night and das He had a very hair were inter- I met a person of the kit gloomy mind and in twined His fingers thin and long His frowning was a grewsome sight. His manners weren't half polite as he proceeded to indite His optimistic song hd ng an optimistic lyre when such en Dh, why dost thou aspire to tw deavor seems to tire Thine inmost. being so?” He answered Time I may not waste. So FE proceed with frugal haste to sing nt Taste what hits the pres And) brings along the ‘dough.’ Washington Star, The Traveling Man Consider now the traveling man, With his smile; with his hustle; his grips; Could Vou be good-natured as he always is, If you had to make som: trips And see the same faces Ard hear the same jokes. And catch midnight trains And give away smokes? And write up your orders And hear hard-luck tales. And ride, on mixed trains. With a pace like a snail's? And stop at hotels That are dismal and dank And eat food that's awful Drink coffee that’s rank? And get home on Sunday, All tired and worn And rest up se you Could go out Monday) morn? If you stop to consider the traveling mam If he looks sorta tired and tough Remember the road he is traveling, son y up-grade. and dern tough —Barber County (Kan) Index. Is most