Judge — May 22, 1920 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Getting Back at Her Costly Communication—Goshall— 1 sce by the paper scientists are trying to establish communications with Mars. Hemlock—1 hope they never succeed. “Why not?” “You just oughta see my long distance telephone bill for this month.” — Youngs town Telegram. He Couldn't—"Do you suppose there ever was a human being who didn’t talk about his neighbors?” asked the cynical man, “Sure,” said the genial citizen “Name him.” “Robinson Crusoe.” — Birmingham Ige- Herald. The Wise Fool—‘ Brevity is the soul of wit,’’ observed the Sage. She—Fancy! A man with your income, and I’ve only one decent dress. “I guess it is,” agreed the Fool. “I He—Well, 1 wish to goodness you'd wear lon Opi never heard a witty sermon.’’—Cin nati Enquirer, for speeding in this town for the year 1920." —Vonkers Statesman The Sage Caller—‘‘Is Mr. Blobbs in?’’ asked the brisk stranger. Seems Unmanageable— }rust— Did “He’s out at lunch,” said a clerk you say your automobile is quite unman- ‘Ah! Will he return within an 4 ageable at times? hour?”” A Blowout—An elderly Boston man Crimsonbeak—Why, sure. Today when “Why—er—he went out with his new who had been in the automobile business I was out in it with my wife it stenographer, sir. wrote this sentiment in an album »ped three times in front of a millinery “Umph! Do you expect him back 10- My wind, alas, is gone; store and five times in front of saloons day?”’—Birmingham Age- Herald. I've lost my youthful fire! Yonkers Statesman And now I wobble on. Maybe Not—but—“‘Dead men tell Just like a punctured tire The New Real Estate Glutton no tales,” observed the Sage. 1 the Fool. Maybe not,’? comment “But their tombstones are awful lis Cincinnati Enquirer Boston Transcript Not so Free—KRedd—This new car of yours cost more than your other one, I suppose? Greene—Oh, yes, considerably: more “But the old one seemed to run freer than this one | Yes, of course, There’s a mortgage on this one.” —Yonkers Statesman A Suggestion—“Can you suggest a Climate Chasers—‘‘ Does your family look ahead? es,” replied Mr. Cumrox. ‘Mother and the girls look ahead ’most too much We spend all winter thinking abou: where we'll live next summer and_ all summer thinking about where we'll live next winter.”’—Washington Star, good name for this new high-power car } of mire “Why not call it Malthus, since it is Kismet—“Is your husband having any luck with his garden?” “Oh, yes. He got a sunstroke and going to keep down the surplus pop: ‘ tion?""—Baltimore American collected $200 from a health insurance.” | —Boston Transcript. 4 His New Record—Redd—Has y You can't get commodation a { new chauffeur made new records here. We have o uses in this vil The Reason—“I came within an ace recently? lage, big build of winning the game.” ee | Greene—Oh, yes. tamer © big build- “Then why didn’t you?” “What has he done now? “Oh, that’s the motion picture theatre Because the other fellow bad the ace.” Why, he was the first one to be fined Simplicisrimus (Munich) Baltimore Amerwan, 1s ' comicbooks.com