Judge — May 15, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Deven by Heases Pavaen Judgements Joux A. Stetcurr, President Revsen P. Preaxrros Maxwetn, & BK. Hasuvros, ate Editor Grost Asso. *. Rottaver, Treasurer J. A. Wapros, Wuar Is ax American For? N the Americanization of America it might be asked with timeliness: “What is an American for?"’ He is for himself, his home and his country. He is for life on the level, peace on earth and a clean shirt on Sunday. He is for a heart as wide as Davy Crockett’s, a debate as sedate as a New England town meeting, and a fight for the Government as if he stood with the Ark of the Covenant at the Alamo. He is for mei jes that reach from the wink of Pocahontas at John Smith to the whirl in the Argonne; for a soft word in a hard hour; for exhilarating himself upon the water-wagon like Pegasus with a piece of mince pie; for love and health; for universal service in washing dishes during the honeymoon: for compulsory, cheerful chicken dinners; for restraining irritable orators by cutting their hair. He is for a rebirth of simplicity, and for a high trust that there is more grist to take to the mill. He is for his heritage of happiness, knowing that flesh is weak and that even the heirs of the patrimony of Charle- magne are down in history as Charles the Fat, Charles the Bald and Charles the Simple—and he don’t want anything like that on his tomb. AME wardens of West Virginia claim that the spirits which revenue officers are pouring into the streams is having a demoralizing effect upon the native fish. If West Virginia's stream: re alcoholic, word shculd be sent to those celebrated rounders of the deep, the soused mackerel, the pickled herring and the stewed eel. * . * High prices or no high prices, dehim till never replace the cool ehich is led over men's eyes. _ ee . Deven by Pace Rene A fat man enjoys one HREE hundred and ninety couples applied in one day for licenses at the New York marriage bure H.C. of L. notwithstanding. Love used to laugh only locksmiths, but now it chortles merrily in the presence of butchers, ice men and landlords. * ° * grocers, York it is stated that the vendor Ina history of old Ne of milk wore a voke. seears tt. XPERT butter-tasters in France can detect the 4 flavor of the soii over which the cattle have grazed. But that is nothing. Expert clothing tasters over here can tell by chewing on a sleeve from which one « cotton-belt states an all-wool suit came. * . * When a mother has but one son, every time she starts him off to school she imagines he is headed for the White House A NOMAN who is suing for separation says her hus- band would “abuse her one day and buy her a diamond ring the next.” Very coarse work. He should have combined the two and beaten her with a rope of pearls, time in an odd its back and rocking to and fro. — News from Holland. Alas, “The Horseback!” straddling his chair and graspi Man on HICAGO women ing their houses and apartments for rent: dur- ing convention week, ask from $800 to $3,000 for five days. May they not be afraid lest the Re- publican steam-roller ruin their parquet floors? * . . Perer, Perer, Pumexin He Put Her In A Pumpkin Shell And There He Kept Her Very Well. ‘The Rent Was Rai By Landlord Dike A Damsite More Than Pete Could Do. Women are naturally changeable. Still it” is easier for them to blush than to lose color. distinct advantage. He knows exactly where the ashes of his cigar are going to land.