Judge — May 1, 1920 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

( the Iss Probloid of Gee a Prize UDGE & wand alter th: the Py ninvent ald like ea1p) Pop thpichs hing: er sot f serate iH into ft D prast? useful ag ing to Lips! neat, \ghereabouts. RIFTIONS It » might eae have Judge delivered ie costman tight at your 2 year) unless you prter Sion Syraphonlon you gre Boy tor you. Du it now. Che Hallphoo Bugle A NEWSPAPER with a HUNCH WEATHER We wanted td te ee that Soins bed arcved be fore saying anything about it but now that we feet safe in an: cine the fact we are De ote that String has cam EXTRA Drastic Reforms in Yapp’s Crossing —+o:— Lively Times Ahead When William Bump Runs for Selectman oo Yare’s Crosstxc, April 8. (Special to The -There is going to be an exciting time in this town next Election 1 Bill Bump, who moved here from Kittenville less than a year ago, is out as a candidate tor the office of Selectman. xd says he is going to be elected come what may. Hand reform the haphazard way things are run He feels sure that he will get the Suffrage vote, for he has canvassed the wimmen od promises that their next Maypole Dance on ¢ Common will not be interfered with as it was e last time by “immaterial interruptions.” Bill has studied law-—-though he hasn't: prac- tied much of it here—and likes to use big words, He says there is more than one * cause of act inst the town for the mishaps on that May OM Ephraim Bunce drove his hogs across the common while the dance was going on, and they licted as hogs generally do when excited. Sterling Nellnitz’s Orkestry was a-playing for the dance and scart the hogs, which bolted and knocked et a lot of innocent bystanders, arvong them Jabez Green and his wife and Chet Jones and Mrs. Jones. Both of these ladies are members of the Kind Word Society, which was giving the dance. end were waiting their turn, as all the strings of the Maypole were in use at the time. Severe contusions were suffered by all, and Old Ben Jump. our Oldest Inhabitant, who was knocked town by Green when the latter fell, lost his spec Hacles, which were broke. ancy Plunkett. who still keeps up velocipede ling a kid in a soap-box on wheel fd some damage in the mixup, though the aped serious injury. Bump says there should eno other activity on the Common when some: hing particular is going on. He also says that some other things in Yapp’s Tossing are a disgrace to any community which os to attract capital and encourage patronage. nitary Rarber Shop, run by horse clipping. Bump ry—he don’t ves himself—but- that Hank ts proprictor and clipper, don’t look very as he stands in the doorway. while the He instances The lank Henry, who also doc ould have the hose turned on them. Well, there lot of men who have lived in Yapp’s Crossing longer than Bill Bump has wko are voters, and they will have it out at the polls with a carpet-bagging reformer who tries to run things here. There will be blood on the moon, as they say, when the polls open. o:— STOLEN —A BILLION DOLLARS Replaced by a Two-Ton Odor Which Has Been Finger-Printed by Gelett Burgess Nev wi ORK, Ma (Special to The Bugle ordinary crimes perpetrated in the vicinity of Wall Street and other shady lanes of finance has completely batiled the Detective Bureau of the Police Department, with the result that’ Ferrett, the famous Albino sleuth who “could sce through anything, even his own won- derful pink eyes.” has been turned loose on the trail of the bold lawbreakers. A vault in the Jitney National Bank containing a billion dollars was found empty one recent morning- empty of the billion, but tilled with a two-ton odor. Here Was a great mystery and one that required an Mbino intelligence to solve it. How the criminals were run to earth, and how the great Ferrett through sheer cunning exposed an awful plot, will be told in the forthcoming issue of Judge by our star reporter. Gelett Burgess. This will be the most thrillingest thriller since Sherlock Holmes missed his footing on the ladder of fame and plunged into. the depths of spiritism. May Testify for Secretary Daniels Commander Tytes of the Bermuda who routed the vaudeville fect in a sharp en- has promised to appear before the Naval Investigating Committee to prove that Mr, Daniels was prepared for the German wurst. \. BW aiken, who was indisposed, is his old frisky self again, his friends will be glad to learn, Harry Hamilton has a new hat, prosperity these days. a sure i fine showing in the picture exhibition held by th of Mlustrators at th: National Arts Club. Mr. Reuben P. Sleicher Hoover on a recent Tues Junched with Herbert 2. Anthony Sarg, the artist, wit, and entrepreneur, 0: heatrical producer, as you might say, and Artl wford were recently nominated for membership on the Council of the Authors’ League of America. Congratulations, ‘Tony and Art, would be our s ments, but we didn’t heat if they got elected or no acher has moved. {re Iphia (Pa.), so he did id at Rowayton. istantly from one Johnny oan. to Phil the big tie-up they h seems to move another, Johnny just suburb to Quite a ance at the Dutch Ve at Shue theatr cither acting on the s nd dinner In the same show Bert Braley wrote the poctry for 1 song about W. Bryan the thought was fine. How Bert can do it 50 g can't understand. ‘The lofty. poetic thoughts and bexinning cach line with a capital comes easy’ for us, but making the rhymes on the other end seems pretty difficult, cessant ca te we xd we a puts N. A, after his nar on his Judge pictures, a lot of people, we're told, think a member of the National Academy, when really ans that Norman Anthony had a hand in the concoction of the idea, which we print in justice to Rod beeause an unvarnished reputation is an ilustrator’s most valued asset When Rodney Thou anxious to see the census returns from Yapp's ir a reasonably densely populated town to us & we bet the number of inh more than trouble since the Yapp's Cro: Made took on Johnny Gruelle as public Vhe greatest humorous, artistic & satirical jou in the world recently raised its price from 10 to 15 cents per copy without an infinitesmal effect on the ipward march of its circulation me to them that say the Americans are diseriminating public. ’Ware the Widder Walter B. Wolfe, ‘21, of Dartmouth Ce F tor to the Juck o'Lantirn, writes: “Judge's: Colle number f new friends for His Honor to emi nently ju I feel, with brother Jack-o- w will never again he allowed ty et away with such am audacious Mrtation with Judse. But the college boy's must vamped, The attractive Wid and won on her merits. The Tie That Binds binders for Judge are going fast. They were pre the H. CL. dise: settled on the nntry, which explains why they are A few more Whad- wot think that His Honor was was there with bells on, Those manufactured be consciousness of the going like the proverbial hot cakes at $1.50. they are gone the price will be $2.50. tit?