Judge — May 1, 1920 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What Is Success? You must read what Maurice Switzer, business executive, econ- omist, poet and humorist, has to | say on the subject in CASHING IN ON WHAT YOU’VE GOT Just extra good common sense at- | tractively and wittily served up. Every word is golden for those who | are able to appreciate that cashing in on what we have is entirely possible if we will follow some few fundamental maxims. Maurice Switzer has produced an unusual | type of literature; it is unique in its humorous qualities and philosophi- cal insight, combined with practical everyday advice. There is the flavor of Emerson, a suggestion of Arnold Bennett, and a dash of George Ade in this book. Price $1.00 Postpaid Don’t miss reading it. Send in your order to-day, using the coupon below. err am et | Leslie-Judge Co. J-5-1-20 225 Fifth Avenue | New York City | Please send me a copy of ‘“* CASH- ING IN ON WHAT YOU'VE |! GOT,” for which I enclose $1.00. Post Card Probloid No. 12 Personally Conducted by Geert BURGESS RULES All answers must be written in ink or typewrit- ten upon Post Cards the long way of the d to Gelett Burgess, care h Avenue, New York. Name and Address of the Competitor. Any Competitor may send as many Answers as desired, provided each is written upon a separate Post Card. Cards to be considere received at the Of t must be not later in the Cont ce of JUL ONCE wrote a novel called * Vivette. or the Memories of the Romance Association.” Evidently thinking it inadequate, Mr. G. K. Chesterton followed, a few years after, with his “Club of Queer Trades” describing the ac- tivities of the “Adventur d Romance Agen It isn’t the plagiarism, however, that I'm talking about today, in my picturesque, Manhattan way, it’s the choice of a New Profession. One of Mr. G. kK. C.’s cha make dull remarks to wh might answer with previously rehearsed clever answers. That is like G. K s mind. It is called British Humour. Another hero was a Professional Detainer who kept people Not Wanted from arriving. (Do I hear anyone laugh?) Of course you've heard of those who make a living by being professional diners-out, called in by @ hostess, who at the last minute, has a ters was hired to ch his companion Light or Dark Visitor—Is your husband a light sleeper? Mandy—Yessum. Dat man kin sleep jes’ as easy in de daytime as in de night. Drown by W. C. Monsis College Professor). W wey Suan W Preacher MEA School Teacher MEAT:AGA 6. than Ten Days after the date of the I in which Announcement of the Probloid made. The Answer which, in the opini Burgess, is the Best, will rec Five Dollars. Every other Answer published in JUDGE » receive a Payment of One Dollar. ca Prize Answet in th con} bloid. will be published and Prize: fourth issue of JUDGE ining the Announcement of guest’ fail her-—Thirteeners they are calk sometimes, because they are used to make g fourteen at table. world, and a great Shorta right now, toda workmen to St ct is there is much to be done in th of Labor. We ne housands of efficient traine hten Out Corkscrews. As The fi now that the non-refillable bottle is at last fact, we ought to get somebody to uninvent ave you a Queer Trade you would like work at, my friend? Say, making cheap pop lar br: burnt not cover trolley cars with sandpaper so tJ smokers might be spared the trouble of scrate ing their own matches—just walk out into oprereatl middle of the street and let the car go past? I would like to know the most useful 24 interesting Queer Trade, without having to re more than ten words describing it. That is the Probloid. From Those Sweet Lips! By Verner, Love Horsipay MAIDEN sweet, scraphic, neat, With eyes of azure hue; A baby stare, a childlike air, A soul as pure as dew. ath her feet a trace of sleek, She seemed to slip. She tried to stop. She fell kerflop! We heard a startling rip!, A saint might cuss and make a fuss, By righteous anger stirred. But, oh, to think a maiden pink Would use that awful word! Handicapped Little Maida while taking her brother ic} walk met smail Billy with his dog. “How old is your bruvve “One year,” was the answer. * Humph,” was the disgusted reply, “my is a year old, too, and he can walk twice as § as your bruvver. ‘for he has twice as many legs! was the indignant ret “Well he might, Pie for Them “In America we have an upper crust a0 lower crust.” “And between them they make mince-™4 of us fellows in the middle.”