Judge — May 1, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“And the Greatest of These Is— Just As Well—Man—What are you fishing for, little boy? Boy—Sharks! Man—But there are no sharks in that little pond. Boy—No—nor nothing else, so 1 might just as well fish for sharks.— Houston Post. Tender-Hearted—A prosperous gro- cer in a certain town had occasion re- cently te engage a new errand-boy. Trade was very brisk, and the lad had a great deal of work to do in delivering parcels in different parts of the town. “Well, George, how did you get on Saturday?” asked the grocer on Monday morning. “Oh, fine,” replied the boy; be leavin’ at the end of the we Grossereren til slumsosteren. Vaersaagod, her er 20 ore tit Deres virksomhet. De behover ikke aa sactte mit naon paa listen,—det er jo hare en simpel kristenplikt.” Til adcokatfruen et kearter senere: “Vaersaagod, her er en check paa 1000 kroner til de “but I'l ral adookas i nodlidende i Wien. De sorger selefolgelig for at det blir nacont i aviserne.” Magnate (to Siam Worker)—Here is a penn; “Why. wha up now?” queried his boss. * Are the wages not high enough?” “I’m not findin’ fault with the pay,” replied the boy, “but the fact is, I’m doing a horse out 0’ a job here.””—London Tit-Bits. Ruth—Ira Andrews, the newly elected city clerk of Terre Haute, is active in Sunday school work. Last Sunday he advised the children of his class that the morning study would be about Ruth, referring, of course. to the gleaner. “Now,” said Andrews, after introduc- ing the subject, “who can tell me any- thing about Ruth?” Up went a little hand in the rear of the class. “Well, Willie.” asked the teacher. “what do you know about Ruth?” “He made twenty-nine home runs last season,” was the answer.—Z/ndiana polis News. Starting Something—The parents of little Tommy were struggling robly to induce the youngster to repeat the letter “A.” Now Tommy steadfastly refused to pronounce the first letter of the alphabet, and, after many vain efforts, the father retired from the fight discouraged. Mother, however, continued and took the litle one on her lap and pleaded with him very earnestly. “Tommy, why won’t you learn to say A’?” she asked. “Because, mother,” explained Tommy, “just as soon as I say ‘A’ daddy will want me to say ‘B.°"— Harper's Magazine. Ditto (to Lady soliciting funds for drive)—Here is my check for five thousand dollars for (Itis worth that to get my name in the pape DOG your cause. Her Description Of It—A small girl of three suddenly burst out crying at the dinner table. “Why, Ethel,” said her mother, “what is the matter?” “Oh,” whined Ethel, “My tecth stepped on my tongue.”—London Blighty. Used a Strap—“ What are you crying so for, Bobbie?” asked the mother. “Why, us boys was playing college and Pop came in and hazed me,” was the boy's feeling reply. —Yonkers Statesman. Art Is Universal “Formerly I played to the gallery. Now I find that the same stuff appeals to. the orchestra and boxes!"—Die Muskete (Viens na). —Heepson (Christiania). It All Depends—The suburban night was being made hideous by the howling of a dog whose soul was lonely, and the strolling police officer paused to speak to the citizen who, standing at his gate, was evidently listening to the canine wails, “Awful racket!” the officer observed. rce!”’ the citizen agreed. “Want to make 2 complaint?” the officer suggested zealously. “Why—er—not until Iam sure,” the citizen responded. “Sure of what?” “Why, whether that is my dog or Brown's. If it is my dog—oh, well, we have to put up with a few little annoy- ances in this life, you know; but if it is Brown’s, why, by George, I don’t propose to have my life made miserable by a nui- sance like that!"—New York Evening Post. There Are Others—Redd—Is that your dog growling so? Greene—It sure is. “What’s he growling about?” “Because meat is so high.”— Yonkers Statesman. comicbooks.com