Judge — April 24, 1920 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

That Dose Should Be Effective “What are you treating me for, doc- tor?” Loss of memory. You have owed me a bill of $60 for two years.” —Boston Transcript Old Practice—“Do you believe doc tors have a right to kill where they can’t cure?” “Haven't they always been doing it?” Baltimore American. The Chief Danger—*You claim there are microbes in kisses?” she asked the young doctor. “There are,” he said “What disease do they bring?” she asked. “Palpitation of the heart.” Home Journal. Ladies’ Uphill Work—"I understand young Dr. Pillers had a hard time getting established her “So he did.” “What was the trouble?” “Chiefly the fact that his whiskers wouldn't grow fast.” “Indeed?” Cheer-O! ne! She said she'd think of me every evening! y she is thinking of you!” (Munich) ‘Yes. It took him about four years to raise a respectable Vandyke beard.” Birmingham Age- Herald. The Reason—“A doctor cannot con scientiously take money from his pa tients.” “Why not?” “Because his are all ill-gotten gains.’ Baltimore American Wrong Party, Central! Clergyman—Hymn Number 399 Telephone Girl (suddenly wakine}—Sorry yn Opinion Shall f call you back?—Lon- 20 While the Sun Shines—One morning Mr. Jenkins, the proprietor of the village provision stores, received a letter which caused him to indulge in a few impreca- tions at its cool effrontery. It ran as follows. “Dear Sir: Will you let my little boy’, Billy, ‘ave six loaves and a pund of cheaze on trust, as my ‘usband is out of work and will yer rap the cheaze ina bit of the situations vacant advertisements of a newspaper, and tie the bread in a lump of your buter muslin, cos if the werst comes to the werst and the old man don’t find « job ‘e’ll have to borrer your pair of steps and a pail and go out winder cleaning “—London Tit-Bits. A Quick Change—“This plaintitl in the court of domestic relat that his wife got ‘hard-bo' sudde: “Is it possible for anybody to undergo & transformation like that?” “Perhaps so. I’ve seen people go in a telephone booth at peace with all man kind and come out a few minutes later thirsting for blood.”—Birmingham Age Herald. Not His Class—A clerk in the employ of a Chicago business m while a fair worker, is yet an individual of pre nounced eccentricity. One day a wire basket fell off the top of the clerk’s desk and scratched his cheek Not having any court-plaster at hand, he slapped on three two-cent postage-stamps and continued his work A few minutes later he had occasion to take some papers to his employer's pri vate office. When he entered, the “old man,” observing the postage-stamps on the clerk’s cheek, fixed him with an astonished stare “Look here, Tom!” he exclaimed “You are carrying too‘ much post: second-class matter!” — Harper's: Mage cine. for Doesn't Seem Fair—“Ten dollars a day is rather high pay, even for plumbers.” “So it is, and to make matters worse their memories don’t seem to be better than they were under the scale.” “How’s that?” “They still forget their tools."— Birmingham Age-Herald