Judge — April 24, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

His Complaint— Excited Young Man at lunch counter—Gimme a hamburg steak, gimme a hamburg steak, gimme a hamburg steak Counter’ Man—What's the matter, young feller? Shell shock? Excited [Young Man—Shell shock, nothing. T used to be a company and we always made out our requis in triplicate The Home Sector. The Wrong Card — Flathush — You know he was over in France during the war. Bensonhurst—So | heard. “He was in the Aviation Corps.”” “An ace, I suppose?” “Sure thing! And when he he thought it would be clever to carry a pack of cards with him, and when asked for his card to hand out an ace.” “That was clever, wasn’t it?” “Yes; but some one mixed the cards up on him, and one day, when asked for his card, instead of an he handed out a two-spot!”— Yonkers Statesman got back The Same Today—"“Now Shake speare’s appeal is universal, For instance Othello won Desdemona by telling of his perils and military adventures.” “1 see,” remarked Georgette. “Just like a second lieutenant today.""— Kunsas City Journal The Better Way—The sergeant-major was a bit of a martinct—it does happen sometimes—and was constantly finding fault with the slightest things. One day, as he sat in his room in the barracks, he saw a private pass in full uniform with a bucket. This roused the sergeant-major to a fury, and he promptly dashed to the door and hailed the private. “Where are you going?” “To fetch some water, sir,” the man. “What!” yelled the. sergeant-major n those trousers?"* “No, sir; in the bucket.”"—Lo Answers. replied don Some Quarantine--\ doctor was gving his rounds on a ship where he dis- covered a man in the Sick Bay with scarlet fever. “You keep this patient away from the rest. of the crew, I suppose,” he re- Dispose and Repose Prospect Seller—Huh! marked. “Oh, yes, indeed,” the hos pital corpsman replied. “I don’t let him come near the others except for chow.” The Arklight. -Going Up— Yowig Suilor- On my age I saw waves forty feet high Old Salt—Get out! 1 was at sea for “ars and never saw ’em that height ng Salt—Well, things are higher now than they used to be.—The Arklight Paving the Way re ulykkelige ilskocspar har ned her. 1 tilf herskaperne ha anne nensigter, be jeg Dem paa forhaand med drikkepengene.” —This tower has th ion of favorite place of suicide for unhapps 1 ve the idea of wer, will they please re- 19 Buyer—1'l give you ten shillings for hi I wouldn't wake him up for that.—Blighty (London) A Muckraking Gentleman—* You sty the gentleman is an investigator of conditions?” “Yes,” said the old-fashioned South- ener rather irritably, “He writes for one of the leading magazines up in New York.” “What kind of conditions does he in- vestigate?” “Oh, just any kind that will provide enough depressing photographs to make tastern reader shake his head and ‘I wouldn't live in the Birmingham Age- an exclaim, South for world Herald. Competent at Last-—“How long has this reporter been on the staff?” “Oh, long enough to become really useful as a news gatherer,”” “What do you mean?” “He has passed through the period of aspiring to write the ‘Great American Novel,’ or the ‘Great American Play’ and is now able to concentrate his mind on « police-court item.” —Birmingham Age Herald. Impossible—“Did that newspaper carry out its policy of printing a re- traction of every mistake?” For a while—until it got to the point where all the news was crowded out.” —Town Topics.