Judge — April 17, 1920 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ae Semen ceenmen any ont Gomme i ' Weird Ambition Their By Tow Morcax HE intellectual appearing stranger was surprised at the peculiar sights he witnessed in his pere- grination about the village. At one place he ame upon two venerable men, one wearing a white bell-crowned beaver hat and the other an old blue army p with the top flapped over on one car. He met other cient men stumping along on the most surprisingly rooked canes he had ever seen, and overheard them arguing that them there dratted flying machines wouldn’t fly, no matter what the newspapers said about “em; you couldn't believe nuth’n’ ye seen in the papers now'days, no-how—plague-take ’em, they didn’t print anything but lie: He dropped into a dingy grocery for a box of matches, and an active little old lady, as dried up as a frosted apple, entered a moment later and asked for a shillin’ bottle of Perry Davis’ Pain Killer. A man strolled along the street wearing barn-door pantaloons and carrying a bootjack under his arm, And all about him he heard the rural near-oaths of long ago—‘l swanny!” “The Dickens and Tom Walker!" “I du vum!" and the like, and in front of a bakeshop an elderly fiddler sat on the steps and sawed off ‘Sally in the Garden,” while the stranger paused to listen. “ Aw, them’s characters.” explained the landlord of Derm by A. Macuerenr Policeman—What do y Truck Dricer—Well, he s muy Tuaxk Heavens Tuat’s Over!” when the visitor voiced his aston- came along the great- d ever seen. the Petunia taverr ishment. “About eight years ago a writ here and stayed a month. He said there w est aggregation of characters here that He put a good many of ‘em in a novel, 1 ever since, when a queer-looking stranger comes to town avid goes wandering about without any apparent business, the word flies around, and quite a lot of folks rummage through their garrets and rig themselves in the old fashioned stuff they find, and get out on ; arade, ho be noveled again.” Nowadays Willi \ sttisticd customer Gillis— Old stuf! A good-looking girl clerk is a store's best advertisement, Musical Notes HE operatic version of “Rip Van Winkle” restores Rip to youth in the last act and has him marry a voung and charming sister of Katrina, his shrewish wife, you remember. A new field for enterprise is thus opened. Composers glued to the hapf ending convention of Broadway would twist the Nibelungen Ring intu sickly romance with a happy- for-ever-afterward finale; Parsifal would wed a bewitching Saracen houri after recovering a ruby-en- crusted cup worth countless mil- lions; Don José and Carmen would flop ,into each other's arms and establish a cigarette monopol. Cavaradossi would come to (the bullet having been detlected by 7 's amulet); Butterfly would be re fe warded at the end o} ythe sudden appear- who would ex= spasnerecay> plain that he has just been appoint- ed Secretary of the Navy b: relative at Washington and was. therefore unavoidably: detained Give our own composers and librettists half a chance and they'll take murder, assassination and assault and battery out of opera ? and substitute affection, recon ciliation and matrimony, a comicbooks.com