Judge — April 17, 1920 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

milk has germs. Why We had to prohibit milk And fruits And cereals And everything.” admit I was astounded. Of course, | had given as my presidential platform “Prohibit everything but ish and milk.” but that And here they had gone and done it—had prohibited every- hing, and mush and milk, Sut, Orley.” [ said, “listen! ‘There things people are allowed to cat drink Cousin Orley just opened his f “Why, sure!” he cried. “Of course! drink all the water vou want.” Klis, milk ferments! And meat. And vegetables. land! was mere politics. too! tbes e and laughed. Water; ven he said: Of course, it, has to be and certified by the i f it is boiled irst; boiled red rnment certifier.” And what can we eat?” 1 asked yg for | give you my word I was beginning to feel my. “Why, hay!” exclaimed Orley cat all the hay we want to eat omily, “We can ‘Tons of it, if we want to.” He pause “But not fresh hay, not blue timothy hay: 1 and boiled, and then certified by the gov- 3 Boiled hay. And that’s a stimulant—only nice, ripe, old timothy hay, sun ernment certifier.” “My God!" I cried come to this? Doesn't an Orley gave me a sly wink. “On the quiet, yes!” he said. us sporty old ! Private stock, Ellis You know! ow, listen,” he whispere I don’t ofien let anybody have any of mine, but you are just from Patagonia a our ways yet, and all your ev still strong. You come with me “And has America “Some of i not used to appetites are He led me to his barn and through an underground passage to the cellar under his house, and moved an old ice-box and dug away half a ton of coal and dr. out a wooden b He took y from his pocket and unlocked the box and threw back the lid “There you are, Ellis, old boy!” he cried gaily “The real stuff. Go to it!” I looked into the box but all | saw was an old whisk- broom. I looked at Orley “Contraband! ‘The real stuff!” nuine old 1920 broom corn, not boiled, by jingo; right ahead and ston he cried ecstatically with the seeds on it, not boiled one minute! Go hew a couple of straws, just as if vou owned them!” Believe Me! Ry Fstecie Siuversas ELIEVE me. if all those enduring young charms That men gaze on so fondly at night, Were to pale on the morrow, ’twould cause 1 For they neve did stand moring light She could still be as feir ina moment, by art Let the Government tax as it will MI the boxes and bottles so dear to her heart (Since her hushand will settle the bill) For the gi And it’s only her husbond who knows Phat she never displays to the public at night | who is truly wise pleases the sight The same face that she wore when she rose His Great Head Dud Ruckett is taking powerful good. keer wi his mother-in-law, that came over from Wayback for a visit and took sick at his house.” said a resident of the Sandy Mush Ark. re Eh-yah!” returned a neighbor. “He says if she dies on him he'll have to ship her home, but if she gets well enough to travel she'll go herself "Pears like comicbooks.com