Judge — April 3, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a fact that automo. Forget That Kedd—Is i it Casts you more to keep your bile than it cost to buy it? Greene—Oh, yes “Well, T don’t: want anything th. costs more to keep than it does get Why, you've a Yonkers Statesman wife, haven't you?” Time For It “You no longer invite Dr. Pounders to ride in your tlivver.” He hurt my feelings although I'm sure the good man didn’t intend to do How did that happen?” The last time I offered him a lift: we hadn't gone a block before 1 discovered him praying fervently on the back seat Birmingham Age- Herald. Not So Careful Now ki You know men change as the years go by Greene What now? “Why, [ remember the Black wouldn't kill a flea.” “Well?” “Now he’s gone and bought an auto. Yonkers Statesman, time when mobile.” Not Yet Hardened—"Will you allow me (to step into your office a moment?” said the man who was buying a quantity of gasoline at a service station, “Why, certainly,” replied the gasoline merchant, “You look upset. Anything wrong?” “Not particularly. I noticed my groc er coming down the street. [’m three months behind with my bill and I lack the gall of some people. I can’t snap my fingers at my grocer and go right on indulging in a luxury T can’t afford.” Birmingham Age- Herald. Identity—"As I was coming to town just now,” said the motorist, “I saw a peculiar sight: a thin, wild-eyed man, clad in a red and blue bed quilt, perched in a treetop and every now and then crying ‘Honk! Honk!’ to the un bridled glee of a gang of men and boys assembled below.” “That was Luther K. Linkenhooper, by the symptoms,” replied the landlord of the tavern at Grudge. ‘He accumu- lated three second-hand Hootin’ Nanny cars; one he traded for, one his brother in-law wished onto him and one was left A Reigning Favorite him by will, None of them was of any account, and so he set to work Lo take all apart and make one good one out of the three. The task was too much for his mind, and after he had made about five from the ruins of the three and still had a lot of stuff left, and none of ’em 1 muscle, he began to chat- yell, and, finally took to his Once in a while he es- would mov ter, then t bed a-jibbering capes from his relatives and gets out and cuts some such caper as you saw. He thinks he is a Hootin’ Nanny himself.” “But, great guns! Even a car of the name you mention does not wear a bed quilt and climb trees! “Mabby not. But it would if it was as crazy as Luther is.” Kansas City Star. His Medicine a Surer Shot—A doc tor took it into his head to go rabbit hunting and so he started out quite early on a beautiful morning, fully armed for About 4 o'clock in the after noon he returned, tired out and empty handed, telling his wife he hadn't killed a thing, whereupon she remarked. tri the sport umphantly told you so!” adding in the neat breath: “If you had stayed at home and attended to your legitimate business you more might have been successful. London Blighty The Cheerful tient—My headache is not any doctor. Doctor Did you clinic, as L told you? Patient—Ves, doctor, | eye clinic and the optimist said I was all right although he did not examine my Journal of the American Medicat Optometrist—/u- better, report to the eye went to the eyes. .lssociation. The Lord Helps Those, Ete.—/rs Johnson—How does yo" feel dis mawn- in’, Joe? Mr. Johnson —1 feel bad — mighty bad! 1 wish dat Providence would have mussy on me an’ take me. Mrs. Johnson—How can ye it to ef you won't take de ¢ medicine?—The Doctor expect ctor’s, He Brewed Trouble Indignant Bacari fault that beer costs a shil Certainly th ing a pint 19 Kaiser should be surrendered to the Entente Nebels palter (Zurich). comicbooks.com