Judge — April 3, 1920 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

An Apt Rejoinder—A would-be M DP. had for an hour been vainly trying to capture the interest of his audience. At last he made a desperate bid for it What the so-called patriots at present in the House?” he yelled. “Hum r of them! — Parasites of myself are bugs, every party! Tp Rather would [write across my forehead n letters easily read, the words “To Let And below them,” came a cold vote nfurnished!’ "—London Tit-Bits. to no party The Benefit of our ence—“I don’t sec name in the paper quite so often as ised to be, senator.” “No.” replied the senator. “I find it as well not to inform the public of When they Lam it is natural wv whereabouts. don't wtually know where forthem to believe that Lam busy working for their interests.”—- Detroit Free Press. “Was that an ter you were talking to just now?" One | upli hing Necessary Why, no. What made you think He seemed to be dissatisfied with things as they are.” So he is, but he is merely a defeated There wouldn't be 1 thing the matter with this old world if Birm candidate for office: he could get the job he wants.” Herald. ingh a Very Clear U hear you are getting up a committee to it Between Senators— “Senator vestigate me eves." “E take that as a breach of senatorial courtesy.” “Now, senator, be a sport, [can get that jobs for some of my Louisville priation for Also a number of f committec. constituents, Courier Jour= na Nothing Solid About It Snortsworthy “Senator is said to be nursing a presidential boom.” “What does he nurse it on?” “Equal parts of hope, misinformation and hot air.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. Filial Solicitude hat, Father, Let Them Let them make our Sundays heatless. Let them make our Mondays eatless, Let the “less days” that they give us Come together, fast and thick. Let them make our Fridays fishless, Feen make our tables dishless. y day is not payless, kick Imerican Med won't Journal of the The Carpenter The carpenter's a lucky guy, On that just bet your life; He never in his day resigns The hammer to his wife Dublicity is what he seeks; He has no glaring fads; Bat in the papers he knows best Just how to use his adz He is a plane man, this we know; \ joiner we recall; And ‘though he spends some cash for board He does not lose his awl barber has to fix his locks Whose speech comes forth in gales; He never has a pretty girl To manicure his na Yonkers Statesman, The Limitations of Age he other night when me an’ Jim Was matchin’ our gray hairs U’ see The which was oldest, me or him, An’ limberest an’ spryest, he Jist flogged high An’ broke nigh! a tie-post three-foot his wish-bone, mighty I swan, I thought I had more sense Than ever try U foller him! Thinks 1 I'm jist as pert an’ spry as Jim I hitched my pants an’ spit, an’ then I frogged that tie-post back again! “Well, dumb the consequence. But law, it touched that shot of his. He got the time the army was! An’ me? [got the roomatiz Like what sich foolin’ allus does! An’ now us two ol’ fools can We're older than we used t’ be —John D. Wells, in Buffalo News. comicbooks.com