Judge — March 20, 1920 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Important as umbrellas in March Because Piso’s wards off ill effects of ecld, rainy weather. For $5 yearsithas ended distressing coughs and eased inflam irritated throats, hoarseness and throat tickling. Keep it in the medicine cabinet ready for im- mediate use at the very first symptoms. 30¢ at your druggist’s, Contains no opiate, Good for young and old Lochinvar By Growce Taccarr YOUNG West; Through all the wide bonict his steed was the Lochinvar 1s come out of the best. And, save his good broadsword, he weapon had none He rode all unarmed ill alone Scott. and he rode INOS The sume Lochinvar has progressed a few pegs His trust is in wheels, not in poor horse’s legs He kidnaps his lady love, faithful and true Per bicycle built as « tandem for two 1910 Again Lochinvar gets a move on himself The lady survives though the bike's on the a honk of a horn, a whizz and a whirr. ower car helps him make off with her 392 And still Lochinvar his fair lady pursues. Yet mere earthly methods no longer he'd use He blows in like the wind to cap out his queen Who falls for naught less than a flying machine CALS SQUARE (taal Sea tare Telling It (Whom to Tell, and How to Tell 11) By Cyru. B. EGan Masty I you would Tell the World, tell The Wife The Husband of a Wife The Head-Barber Or Any Woman. (Begin by saying “ secret.”) If you would find an affable audience for your choicest whopper, tell The Marines The King of Denmark Or Sweeney. like Mids somebody or something + by Nove Levent: Mind now, this is dead and gullible barber, unburden but really If you must, yourself do not want your secret known for some time to come Te LePHont Now for the How of Telling I. —Is expressible cur blighting your life? Don’t try to express him. then. with EST lt. ye = was til But tell your aversion with me in- LS <= ep} Would you tell the Inexpressible She your Don’t tell it with love? Having thus practically demonstrated that you are the possessor of the grand passion, then —and not before—may you say, “Them's my sentiments,” cr “J kinda like you, kid And, depend on it, she will kinda snuggle up to your manly bussom, and r aging your coat lapel between her thumb and forefinger, and tremulously Al, you told it!” 32 murmur sweetly “You told it, TO-NIGHT TO-MORROW ALRIGHT THE IDEAL LAXATIVE Used for 30 years Psychology By Evorxe Locknart HEY sat opposite me on the Long Island train. The Thoughtful-Looking One slowly turned the pages of the “Atlantic Monthly,” while her triend seemed to be over her head in * “Foolish Fiction.” “There now,” I remarked to myself, “are two types. Miss eal digests the ‘At lantic Menthly,’ and Miss Emotion devours ‘Foolish Fiction.’ From this apparently simple incident I am able to definitely tabulate their characters. L feel quite proud about it. How interesting it would be to explore their minds One never knows what e finds a golden of inspiration and a void in a Minds are interesting one will find. Sometimes o1 treasure, sometimes a mine sometimes enly an excavation vacuum.” My musings were abruptly interrupted by the Thoughtful-Looking One throwing aside the “Atlantic Monthly,” remarkung, “No pitchers,” while ber friend closed ‘Foolish Fiction” with a decisive air, remarking, “How can they print such things!” I went into the smoker remarking on the inconsistencies of life. Regarding Editorial, Subscription and Advertising Matters offtce— Brunrwtek ranewick Bide, 225 Fifth neice! Bide. Chicago; Henry Bide. ct ave. New York City ‘onsider jokes and panied by post 220. By ‘Leslie: Judge Company ered a York as Secondclass Atail Matter Kaned, wertly. by’ Lesile Judge Comoany. 203, Futh Aven New Vork. ‘John A. Sleicher, President. Reabea P Sich Secretary. A. E. Rollauer, Treasurer Printed by the Schweinter Press. | Address all correspondence to 225 Fifth Avenue JUDGE York City comicbooks.com