Judge — January 24, 1920 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Worse and Worse — Miss Greene had been invited to be a bridesmaid at quite a smart wedding, and spent much time in planning her new dress. At last it was ready; and when she tried it on, she asked Mrs. Jones from next door to come and see it “It's sweet, my dear!” said the good woman admiringly. “And certainly you look a lady, whatever you are.” Miss Greene’s face told her she made a mistake, so she corrected herself hurriedly: “No. [mean you are a lady, whatever you look.” —Minneapolis News had Hard to Talk To—The evening purty was over, and most of the guests had gone. As one young man took leave of his hostess the lady said “I'm sorry you found Miss Biggle « poor conversationalist.” “Poor conversationalist!"” exclaimed the guest. “She’s absolutely the limit! Why, the only thing she said to me the entire evening was ‘No,’ and I had to propose to her to get that out of her.” St. Louis Republic What Boots It?—"Lady Astor will be the first woman to take a seat in the House of Commons.”” And the interesting question is, what will she do with her feet ?—Chicago Tribune Too Much Will Power yesterday Mr. McGrazo—Aye, man; it’s kep’ me v ‘na left masel’ a chair to sit’ on!—The Pas Spiteful Advice—Brother Bob—1 want Miss Priscilla a jewel appropriate to her style. What would you advise? Sister Sue—A Baltimore Imerican cat's-eve Highly Complimentary —— Maud Miss Oldun thinks that hotel clerk just lovels Ethel—Why so? Maud —He wrote opposite her name on the hotel register “Suite 16."— Pitts burgh Post. A Dead-Game Sport nen , fai fait “Oui, en attendant le repew Mr. Warbucks—Yes. Wh le waiting for my preserves to get re-stocked, head shipped frozen from Australia.—Le Journal dmusant (Paris). nied’ Australie 1,200 pitces de gi Ihave hadt , 18 king a’ nicht © wish tae see me aboot the will yen Noo [come tae think 0° "t, T have Show (London) Cut It Out—The other day an Indiana city school superintendent pro moted a grade teacher to the English de partment in the high school. He was discussing the work with her when she —. it’s going to be so hard for me. You see I've always used so much slang, and now when I teach Eng lish I won't dare use any more.” “Slang!” ejaculated that superinten “Well, believe me, Alice, you'll Indianapolis dent have to cut that out now.”” \ Short, but Sharp—“ Why aren't you speaking to Mrs. Gadder?”” “We had words. Indeed! *Yes—one apiece. She called me ‘up start’ and I called her ‘cat.’ "—Birming ham Age- Herald Sarcasm—A news item from Water- bury, Conn., arouses Pang to bitter lan- guage. The story says that “the fish have taken to creeping through the plumbing of the city, and come through the water faucets.” “Creeping” is the word Pang objects to. On their hands and knees, of course!"’ he sneers.—Tacoma Ledger. comicbooks.com