Judge — January 24, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of A Just Complaint—A coal heaver’s “feelings were burt” by the unthought ful actions of his children. “Mary,” expostulated this man to his wife, “don't I always tell you I won't have the children bringing in coal from the shed in my best hat?” Yh, why should you care?” demanded the wife. “You've sp'iled the shape of that hat already, and what can a little extra coal dust do to harm it?” “You don’t see the point,” protested the husband, with dignity. “I only wears that hat in the evening: while I am out, I takes it off my it leaves a big black band ‘round my forehead. What's the consequence? Why, I get accused of washin’ my face with my hat on, and it ain’t nice, Mary: it ain’t nice!”— Harper's Magazine Mental Relief —“Your husband seems s careworn than formerly.” “Yes; now that the baseball season is over he hasn’t anything but his business to worry about.”’—Boston Transcript. le Rest for the Weary—“I can let vou have a room on the top floor, sir, if you don’t mind sharing it with another ge tleman,” said the boarding house |. “All right. But do you suppose the gentleman will retire early? I’m in need of sleep, and don’t want to be disturbed.” “You'll probably be able to get a good night’s rest before the gentleman comes in, sir, He's been stopping with us every September for six or seven years, and this is the first time he’s ever made the trip without his wife.”— Houston Post. the World Unhappy Position of Impecunious Heir Vo Wealthy Centenarian who Took the J Treatment!—The Bystande. Educational— educational film? “Yes,” replied the movie magnate, blandly, But it features a ‘vampire.’ ” “Exactly. We're trying to make the world safe for married men.”’—Los Angeles Times. “You say this is an Merely Tolerated—' don’t seem to like my family a pouted the bride. “Give me time, my dear. I’m doing my best to be agreeable.” “But what's wrong with my family?” “Nothing whatever, but I’m a sensi- tive man, I am, and the look of hopeless resignation your people wear whenever I’m around is getting on my nerves.”"— Birmintgham Age-Herald. az ustavus, you all,” At on *>s Humor An Easy Mark Drops In—“ There's & woman up in front who wants to buy a ‘Gen-u-wine’ Persian rug,” said the sen-u-wine,’ did you say?” replied ler in oriental goods, “That's the way she pronounced it.” “Ahem! Does she appear to have money?” “Yes, and she doesn’t appear to have had it long.” “Ah! In that case get down some of those rugs we got from our factory in New Jersey the other day, I suspect that what we have in our net is a ‘gen-u-wine’ fish.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. The Wise Agent—The Agent for the Useless Dingus he was selling was a smart man. He rang the doorbell and a maid opened the door. “Good morning,” smiled the Agent. “T am trying to find a marvied lady whose name I can’t remember just now. T think this is her home. She is a woman ily described. Perhaps you know her. She is a handsome woman, with a perfect complexion, beautiful ir and teeth, lovely eyes and an ideal figure. I thought “Mary!” called a voice from the top of the stairs, “tell the gentleman I will be right down!” —Cincinnati Enquirer. Easy—‘‘I wish I knew how to make a barrel of money,” sighed the Little Man. “That's easy,” replied the Big Man. “Spend a half barrel of money in adver- tising and you'll soon have a barrel of money.""—Cincinnati Enquirer. comicbooks.com