Judge — December 13, 1919 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Gant Jones Digest of the World’s Humor The Way It Goes—“Didn’t you tell was going to make an im- ange in his manner of livin: Jibway has been promoted to a $10,000 a year job, and now can sleep an hour later every morning.” —Birming- ham Age-Herald, Tax Exempt—A minstrel show was in progress at one of New York's ex- clusive clubs, and the cast included many prominent men. Jokes and songs with merry financial twists were ex- changed among the gathering. Turning to an end man, the interloc- utor said m, what does dis heah in- come tax mean?” Wheeling in his seat, he replied: “Dat, Mr. Interlocutor, am_a fine imposed on dose folks livin’ outside de cotton belt.” —IVall Street Journal. Thinking of Others—Oke—Would you be satisfied if you had all the money you wanted? Ou —I'd be satisfied if I had all the money my creditors wanted.—Boston Transcript. Rash Statement—At the Working Men's Institute there rose a fierce dis- cussion as to whether women should be given a chance of filling the high ap- pointments. “’Twouldn’t do!” said a youthful and newly married firebrand. ust think of a woman as a secretary of the treas- What do they know about finance, anyway His effective pause was spoiled by an older man, who said solemnly: just go home to the missus next Friday night $5 short in your pay, and you'll soon find out!"—Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. Valuation—“Do you think eggs wi be worth 10 cents apiece this winter “T haven't time to take up that side of the question,” replied Farmer Corn- tossel. “I've been studying 10-cent piece an’ wonderin’ whether it’s worth an egge’—Birmingham Age-Herald, Winter Courting “Have you taken your ammoniated quinine ?” nd your onion porridge?” “T have.” “Then you may kiss me."—London Opinion. Flattery Not Paid For—Miss Mugg (in studio)—I would like to have you int my portrait, Mr. Smiers, but $1,000 1s too much. Artist—Well, Tl do it for $750—but Tl tell you in advance it will be an awfully accurate likeness,—Boston Transcript. Just That— Newpop, proudly. to start a bank off.” announced y, I'm going account for him right ort of a fresh heir fund, eh?” said his waggish friend.—Boston Transcript. In the Eye of the Beholder—“Would you call this office building an architect- ural monstrosity “Certainly not, “What put such an ide: head ?” “Why, it’s a hideous structure.” “It looks positively beautiful to me. That building pays 100 per cent on the investment."—Birmingham Age-Herald. replied Mr, Grabcoin. as that into your 15 Didn't Go Far Enough—Mr. Flat- bush—These jellies you put up all taste alike to me, dear. Mrs. Flatbush—But you can tell the difference by the labels. “Possibly; but I never thought of tasting the labels, dear.”"—London Statesman. No Pep—“How ment coming on?” “Women don't rush for the remnants as they do in other lines,”—Pittsburgh Sun, "s your meat depart- Proof Positive—“How do you know that he’s a millionaire?” “He eats."—Buffalo Express. Either Way the Lamb Loses— Teacher—You see, had the lamb been obedient and stayed in the fold it would im, it would have been York Watchman, The A group of workers were lunching in a sheltered nook on a wharf. One of them went across the street for a plug of tobacco, and during his absence another substituted for his tin of pale coffee and milk his own tin of milkless black coffee. When the first worker returned to his lunch he could hardly believe his eyes. “Well,” he, “I have heard of but to steal the milk out of a feller’s coffee is about the limit."— Philadelphia Bulletin. Giving It a Name—Bacon—When a thing is breaded, what do you call it? Egbert—What sort of a thing? “Meat, for instance.” “Well, when meat is breaded I'd say it was a sandwich.”—London Statesman, Maybe So—“The doctor was very particular about knowing what we have to eat.” Wonder why? Does he expect us to invite him to dinner ?”—Louisville Courier-Journal.