Judge — December 13, 1919 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Joun A, Stercuer, Preside: Revupen P. Stercner, Secreta Perriton Maxwewt, Editor J. A. Watpro Judge Editorials Literary Editor A. E. Rottaver, Treasurer Grant E. Hamunton, Art Director Lawton Macxatt, Managing Editor Revive American Cookery HE soldiers are now all back to mother and a clean table-cloth, letting the army cook escape Yet, after groping inarticulately among bitter memories, getting a bad taste out of their mouths, and declaring that they still love the kitchen maid and their country, they now declare that our cookery is of foreign model, decadent and unpatriotic, threatening alike to the amiability of the citizen and the tranquillity of the community. Having gotten all this out of their systems, we understand that the war was won in spite of the cooking, and while we were nation-building the foreign propagandist was in our cook-room The soldiers may be right. Let us return to American cooking, and win the freedom of the seas, the hegemony of humanity and the emancipation of the entreés simul- taneously, With reverence let us return to the pots and pans of the rude forefathers of the Republic—they who built an empire on mince pie and plum duff—so that we may keep it on succotash, Indian pudding and Yankee pot-roast, and make old age and health com- mon as politics. First let us open grandmother's cook- book, which enjoins: “take one gill of rum, two nog- gins of Madeira, three anchors of port, four tablespoonfuls of ly,” ete. Yes, let us hasten back to the banquets of our ancestors—who flavored the world with true de- cy and spiced fre with all the exhilaration of gl ous life. They raised crops, scalps, debts, steeples and hardy generations on boiled dinners Let us return like the prodigal to the fe Great food makes great people. The Jews found the Promised Land on manna, and look what the beef and ale of England have brought forth! A race of poets may thrive on “a jug of wine, a loaf and thou,” but this r of Yankees must have all the gifts of earth, air, water, Bacchus and Lucullus, with the meat upon which the Caesars feed, to carry wood and water for civilization, Revive the ox-roast, the clam-bake, and let the buckwheat cakes and sausages sizzle! Our institutions show signs of wear and tear because we lost the appetites of the pioneers. Let us keep on the American plan and nourish a breed of Washingtons to be the fathers of their country, with a progeny as wide as whales, as wise as widows, as voracious as the whirlwind—so that we may swallow all our Jonahs, the inflowing years be as milk and honey, and all our s soft as pie. enemies be The “Probloids” Present a Problem HE unavoidably delayed issuance of this number of Jupce, due to the difficulties sing from the printers’ strike, has compelled us to postpone an- nouncement of the prize winner in the Gelett Burgess “Probloid” contest. The cleverest probloid received was to have been printed in this issue, together with other post-card replies to the request for a thirty-word subtitle for a movie scene showing Lloyd Geors the keeper of an Arizona “gambling hell,” dancing with Mary Pickford and shooting off one of her curls for a keepsake. If you have any ideas on the subject and a yearn- ing for $3, tell us on a postal card how you would caption the delicate scene suggested. Fate and the printers permitting, we will publish the prize winning postal and the next funniest re- plies, in Jut for December 27th. Why not have a try for that fiver? A little card, a little thought, a drop of ink and, presto! The money may be ge, as Judgelets Living on hope won't give a fellow indigestion. The woman who is misunder- stood should really be glad.