Judge — November 29, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Recently Demobi meeting )—Company, cretary ‘quick’ and the ‘dead’? 2” asked the Sun- day school teacher. Villie waved his hand frantically. “Well, Willie?” “The ‘quick’ are the ones that get out of the way of automobiles; the ones that don't are the ‘dead.’ "—Phila- delphia Record. What's Its Use?—Little Jimmy went with his mother to stay with an aunt in the country, and his mother was very worried as to how he would behave. But to her surprise he was ang during the whole visit—always did as he was told, and never misbehaved. As soon ‘as he got home, however, he was his natural self again. “Oh, Jimmy,” she said, “you were so good while you were away. Why do you start behaving badly now?” “What's home for?” asked Jimmy, in pained surprise—Chicago News. Couldn’t Get "Em—A small Colum- bus boy recently helped his mother peel potatoes. When she inspected his work she found the eyes of the tubers had not heen properly removed. “Why, Billie,” she reproved, “you have not cut the eyes out of the pota- toes you peeled.” “Well. mother, T just can’t help it, wailed Billie. “Their eyes were so far back in their heads I couldn't get 'em.” —Indianapolis News. Music—The music supervisor was trying to get the children to sing with expression. They were singing an ocean song and she told them that in 11-29-19 g. (introducing new director at stockholders’ shun !—Blighty (London). ain places only the boys would sing. heir voices are deep like the waters in the ocean,” she voices make you think of oceans—don't they?” The children agreed that they did. “And now,” she smiled encouragingly, “what do’ women’s voices make you think of?” Silence and then a little hand in the back of the room went up. “Why, of the swimming pool at the Y. W. CA.” piped a shrill treble—Jndianapolis News. A Youthful Casuist—“Son, didn’t I tell you it was too late in the season to go in swimming ?” “Don't tell me a lie, young man, Your hair is still wet.” “Honest, dad, I just splashed around.” —Detroit Free Press. An Apt Reminder—“Come upstairs and let me wash your hands,’ said Winnie's mother. “I don’t want to go up nie, ged three. et her wash them down here,” called grandmamma; she can do it just as well.” No,” her mother said firmly. “I want her to come up with me!” Winnie came upstairs as slowly as possible. h.” she said, turring a wrathfully tearful face to her mother, “why don't you obey your mother?"— Pittsburgh Sun. Influence—The high school teacher was giving a review biography of John Milton, fis life influenced a great Of his poems,” she told the class, ilton had a very unhappy life His first wife and he were very unhappy.” She talked a few minutes and then asked, “Now what poem did this unhappy marriage cause him to write?” “Paradise Lost,” came back from one of the listeners.—Indianapolis N !" wailed Win- Undoubtedly Helpful—“You told him to diet,” said the young doctor's wife “Yes, I told him to eat only the very plainest food and very little of that. “Do you think that will help him?’ “It will help him pay my bill.”"—Bos- ton Transcript. Only Scared—Doctor—Ah, yes. Very nervous, irregular pulse, palpitation of the heart and feverish, Let me sce your tongue. Young man—I'm all right, doctor. I just came to ask you for your daughter's hand.—Boston Transcript. A Norwegian’s Idea of American Journalism Det er i “Det vaeldige folkchyls” redaktion, i nybyggerbyen etsteds ute Arizona settlement, Redaktoren til sin faktor—"Er for- merue laerdige ¥ “Ja, de er, si ‘Og alle Browning~ rev valverne ladde og knivene nyslepne? la, bevares vel.” ‘Og de nye mauserrifiene igjen faer- med frldte kammere?” m stykker av dem, faa vacggen derinde, sir. “Godt, la saa bladet gaa i pressen!" Editorial office of “The Night i Arizona settlement Editor—Is the press ready now? Foreman—Yes. Editor—Are all Browning revolvers led and bowie knives sharpened? oreman—Y es, Editor—And the new Mausers and machine guns ready? Foreman—Yes, Editor—Good. Then you can bring out the next issue—Tyrihans (Chris- tiana), irad og rackke comichooks.