Judge — November 29, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mental Arithmetic “What time is it, Jenkins?” leven forty-three, sir.” r—Jenkins, you ‘might work that out for me!"—IVorld (London). aid the Cynic, with a s: wonder,” replied the ook how many inexper in for it."—London Answers, Had His Lesson—"You used to be very strong for the debating club when you were single.” “T not drop around now occa- 't be any use, A married vt put up any kind of an ar- gument.”"—Minncapolis Tribune, Why She Worries—“Jim's wife is never at peace when he is out of her ‘ Is it because she loves him so? “No, it’s be she knows him so.” —Boston Transcript. Almost a Crime—"You shouldn't say this young couple ‘committed’ mat- Why not?” “It isn't good taste. You talk as if they had done something wrong. “They have. When a young man who isn’t earning over $25 a week marries a girl who can’t boil water and thinks that when she charges a hat to father it never has to be paid for, in my opinion they have committed matrimony.”—Bir- mingham Age-Herald, His Center Piece of Mind—"He was self-centered till he got married.” “Yes, now his wife raises a storm with him almost every day.” “Yes, now _he is storm-centered.”— Jacksonville Times-Union, An Independent Wife—flathu And your wife writes to you on pos’ cards? Bensonhurst—Oh, yes. 7 houldn’t think you'd allow her to do so. “Oh, she’s very pendent. She doesn't seem to care who knows what she sa —Yonkers Statesman, No Collective Bargaining —“\We're all going down town shopping this morning,” said his wife, meaning by all, herself a daughters. “[ wish you wouldn't,” replied the financial head of Vhy not, pray use 1 am_unalterably opposed to collective bargaining."—Detroit Fre Press. inished the Program—The newly- weds moved in the apartment next to the settled old bachelor. They h ukulele and every night the aine themselves and annoyed him by playing it and singing very sentimental songs together. Usually they ended with “Home, Sweet Home.” He endured it brave nd said nothing until one day rd them having their first quarrel. That night he supposed he would have quiet, but quite as usual the bridegroom thrummed on his “uke” and very wild, weird tunes he thrummed, too. Finally there was a long silence and the bachelor knew that they had ended their concert without the al “Home, Sweet Home. Grimly he crossed to his Victrola, which had been silent since the advent of the newlyweds and their musical instrument, With ok m the rack the record he had in hopes that some day his id come, And_exultar the ground out “Pack Up r s in Your Old Kit Bag, and le, Smile, Smile.” — Indianapolis it will be a quiet wedding, ‘Of course,” rejoined Miss C: 3y the way, I don’t recall of a loud and boisterous wedding —IWashington Star. Her Reason—Mrs. Newbride—When und that you couldn't accept the on to our wedding, why didn't you send your regrets? Miss Ryval—Oh, I thought you'd have enough of your own pretty soon, dear.—Kansas City Star, More Expense—Flathush—So your new house is finished, is it? Bensonhurst—Oh, yes. “Do you know how much it cost you?” “No, not yet. You see my wife wants to have a house-warming.”—Yonkers Statesman, The Rules of the Union ptain—“Yes, we ought to have sailed a long time ago, but the man who ts off the hawser is on strike and we can’t move until he comes hack.”— Sondags Nisse (Stockholm). 7 11-29-19 comichooks.cqelu)