Judge — November 29, 1919 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Heaman Pauser Digest of the Changing Times—Goshall—Who's your friend? Hemlock—He is a s! aler who used to be known as he man who made $3 famous.” Don't they call him that now ‘0, he is making ten dollars I gettcha——" the same kind of ‘oungstown Telegram. The Worst—"“What's the matter, old top? You look sick.” “I've just undergone a serious opera- I had my allow- Portland Express A “Worse th ance cut off.” Far-Sighted—"Didn't you say old . Wadleigh had a turn for thrift?” “It's worse than that. It’s a gift.” y, he can take a dollar out of his pocket and tell you what it will be doing twenty years from now.”—Bir- mingham Age-Herald. Guaranteeing the Job—Two men stepped up to the door after ton of glittering anthracite had cascaded to the sidewalk. “Do you want your coal put in?” one of them asked. “How much'll you charge the woman at the door. “We'll have to have $2 apiece.” re two of you to do inquired But coal is a terrible tempta- tion these days. One or the other of us will have to stand guard as a watch Washington Star. Daily Collection—Vic went to church the other di: He boarded a street car and gave the conductor a 11-29-19 The Eight Hour Day “Ocho horas de trabajo para el obrero y cero horas de rendimiento. para uno y otro.” “Eight hours for the tabi and zero hours of agreement cither.”"—Blanco y Negro (Madrid) Mexican coin that he had been carrying about in his pocket for fifteen months. “L thought T gave him a nickel with the picture of a bull bison on it,” re- called Vic, who says when he learned his mistake he told the conductor he was making a collection of souvenir “So am I,” said the conductor and he rang up a fare,—Indianapolis News. What Angered Him—“Yes, I was fined $200 for putting coloring matter in artificial butter.” “Well, didn't you deserve it?” “Perhaps. But what made me mad was that the magistrate who impose: the fine had dyed whiskers." —Mile stones. 1s World’s Humor “You cannot judge by ap- pearances in this life.” “You surely cannot,” replied Uncle Bill Bottletop. “F'rinstance, moon- shine liquor mostly looks ° pure crystal spring water.”—IVeshington Star, A Tip—If, however, for any reason you feel that the addition of pure cul- tures to your cider will be of aid these can be furnished by the Bacteriologicat Laboratory at twenty-five cents for each culture of yeast or of vinegar bacteria.—Michigan Ag, Bulletin. Wine and Words—"When the wine's in, the wit's out,” said the ready-made philosopher. “It's a fact,” replied Uncle Bill tletop. “But jes’ the same, prohib isn’t keeping a large amount of fool- ishness from bein’ talked.”—IWashina- ton Star. Loud Rejoicing—"Men are just tike children,” remarked Mrs. Dubwaite, in her superior way. Why do you say that, dear?” asked Mr. Dubwaite. “Chiefly because of its pretty color, a man will wax eloquent about red liquor, but you rarely hear one extolling whi liquor, which T suppose is just as good “You are wrong there, my dear. A tourist brought my friend John Jasby a quart of gin from Canada and his halleluiahs could be heard a block away.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. His Description—The colored pris- oner denied the officer's charge that he was full of liquor. “Sam,” said the judge, “I wonder if know what liquor is.” “Oh, yes, sah.” answered Sam. iquah am’ somethin’ thar ain't none of."—Boston Transcript. comichooks.celu)