Judge — November 8, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aed Pe pee Fraulein’: At last the boundari ed agi without a Paris gown.”—Simplicissin: Refined Robbery—"I don't under- stand all these daylight robberies,” said the police officer, “The explanation is " replied the criminologist. »bbers now have their own motor cars, Wealth brings refine- ment and they do not care to come i contact with the rough element likely to meet on the streets at night.” Washington Star. Explained—Judge—Yon say you are suing this man because he did not blow his horn before he ran into you? Plaintiff—I didn’t say he didn’t blow his horn, [I said that I couldn't hear it His old car rattled too much.— Pearson's Weekly. 's Hardship ain! It’s been a terrible ordeal—five years s (Munich), Ruffled—‘\When I asked Glippers if that was a garage he was having built rear of his new mansion he gave mingled pity and con- n't wonder at that. When a man -date enough to erect a hanga irchase two airplanes it naturally kes him peevish for anybody to in- that he hasn't progressed any + along than a garage.”—Birming- 1 Age-Herald. W A Mean Man—“Would you mind telling me what the upkeep of your limousine amounts to “Certainly not.” replied the prosp ous citizen, “But may I ask why y want to know y wife's been after me to buy a flivver and I'm going to argue against it on a limousine hasis."—Birmingham ‘ald, A Sarcastic Parson—A minister in Missouri telephoned his order thus: “Send .a dollar's worth of meat out to my holise. If there is no one at home just poke it through the keyhole."— aston Transcript. No Chance—“Wre'd better not stay here. Let's go to some other cafe.” “What's the matter?” “I don't think we'll ever get our din- ner, I've just discovered that our waiter is the one that | forgot to tip last time I was in here.”"—Detroit Wise Infant—In an infant school the teacher chose the miracle of the water heing turned into wine as the subject the usual Bible lesson, In telling the stor : nally asked a few questions. One of them was: Vhen the new wine was ght to overnor of the feast what did he A litle girl, remembering what she had heard, probably on some festive oc- casion, called out “Here's luck !°—Cle Leader, Home-Made “Scoops” Redaktoren—Tja—ser De, jeg sactter nu i Grunden mest Pris paa de opdig- tede Sensationer. For det forste er der jo nok af dem—og for det ande er vi ganske alene om dem. itor—We prefer sensations of our own invention. Firstly, because we can have as many as we like, and secondly hecazse they are exclusive to us.— Klods Hans (Copenhagen).