Judge — November 8, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Henman Patwer Digest of High Cost of Plumbing—A\ Wall Street broker, the fortunate owner of a on the Jersey coast, led ber to make some repairs, This is his experience: The plumber worked in a half-hearted fashion until lunch time when he departed, not returning until 2 o'clock. “Tam paying you $0 a day for ei hours’ work,” said the broker. here you go off and leave What's the reason?” I forgot some aded the plumber. ut that didn’t take two hours,” said the broker. “No,” replied the plumber, “but. did you think was coming back without y dinner? When the broker recovered conscious- ness the plumber was gone, presumably after his 5 o'clock tea—The Wall Street Journal, important tools.” What Jackson Ought to Do—“Well by Jove, this is lucky!" cried a young man, as he heartily slapped the b: a gentleman whom he overtook in the street. The other turned round sharply and angrily, showing the face of a com- plete strang “L thought it was my friend, Jackson,” said the young man, confused “All right,” said the stranger: and he doubled the young man up with a tremendous poke in the waistcoat. “What did you do that for?” “I thought that was what Jackson ought to do,” remarked the stranger as he resumed his interrupted walk.—St Louis Globe Democrat, Saving—"Stingey’s one of those careful saving fellows, isn’t he “Yes. Ie puts the cork in the ir Lottle between dips.” Candidly Defined—“What is your lea of a free governme A free government, id the Bol- shevist, “is one that offers no opposi- tion to our efforts to kick it to pieces and start something under our exclu- ¢ control.”"—IVashington Star. the World’s So This Is Fishing! Humor ous me donneres boite de sar- ogi” Luckless Fisherman—\ would like a box of sardines—Le Journal Amusan (Paris). Disillusioned—There was once a politician, formerly a_ farmer, whose reputation was such that a colleacuc. meeting an old man from his district, asked confidentially “What do you think of him down your way? Is he an honest man?” The countryman stroked his whis- kers and smiled, “Would you call him a liar?” asked the other. Another stroking of the whiskers, then he replied: ‘Well, now, I don’t know that I'd go so far as to call him a liar, but those as know him down our way do say that when he wanted his pigs to come for their feed he had to get somebody else to call ‘em."—Boston Globe. Information— 't a widow en- titled to her third?” asked the Fen nce who was secking free i "replied the grouchy old attor ut she should get rid of her ati Enquirer. 7 A boy was visiting another y were going to bed th host knelt to say his prayers. never say my prayers when | am at home,” said the visitor. “That's all right,” said the other boy, “You better say them here. This is a folding bed.”- Buffalo Commercial, Sounds Like Boston—“ Mother?” “Yes, dar’ i? “What is that strange phenomenon, oc- curring at alarming intervals, by which the whole firmament appears to be il- luminated for an infinitesimal spa time, leaving all in impenetrable dark- ness?” hat, my precious, is lightning, You must go to sleep now.” “Just one thing more. I note after cach manifestation of nature you call Fghtning there follows a dull, lingering reverberation, commencing sharply and fortissimo, rumbling, tumbling away with the most gradual diminuen vanishing at last into silence as black as the darkness that swallowed the light What is that? That is only thunder, caused from the lightnin; The baby, mother explains. was born only last November, and had never ob- served a thunderstorm until Wednesday night.—Kansas City Star. First Choice—Alice is an eight-year- old youngster from the southern’ part of the state and her uncle recently brought her to the capital to see the monument, and other places of interest The morning after_his arrival he k her down to the office of a friend and introduced her around, “So you came to see Indianapoli remarked one of the men. suppose ‘ xious to begin. Which do y st to sce—the state house or the monument?” ed at him and then spoke y, “Oh, I want to see both of ” she told him, “but most of it to go to one of those stores where you get an ice-cream sandwich for a nickel.”—Indianapolis News.