Judge — November 1, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Rejuvenation via Jazz Pas de valse! Jouez plutét ur qui est un peu avancé. “Cut out that wal Play something with a lot of pep in it. atarde pour faire passer le poisson This fish I'm serving is kinder tired and needs bracing up."—Le Rire (Paris). Famous Sayings From the Rear Seat—"You are driving too fast, John.” “Can't you find a better road?” , you almost hit that man.” out and walk.”"—Journal of American Medical Association. Values His Own Life—“Are you a careful driver?” asked the nice old lady. Yes, ma'am,” replied the | cha feur. “I don't want to get hit by railroad train any more than you do —Detroit Free Press. Proof Positive—!! ife chauffeur was jer the liquor, Husband know that he was. He gave me back the r change.—Vir ginia Motorist. In Case of a Bump—"“Why did you turn out for that truck? According to affic rules you had the right of I think that influence of answered Mr. Chuggins, pa- tiently, “But the truck had the right of weight."—IVashington Star. His Logic—IVillie—Pa, buy me a pair of skates. Pa—But, Willie, you need shoes worse than you need roller skates. Willie—1 know, but when I have my roller skates on the people can’t see the holes in my shoes—Detroit Free Press. ‘ Washington's Difficulty—.\ certain senator, deploring the dishonest meth- ods of one type of business man, said, with a smile: “It all brings back to me a dialogue I once heard in a Southern school, “Children, d the teacher, ‘be dili- gent and steadfast, and you ceed, Take the case of Gec ington, whose birthday v celebrate. Do you rem you of the great difficulty George Was ngton had to contend with?’ “Yes, ma'am, couldn't tell a said a little b "—Christian Hera He Knew—A little boy who had t be on the train over night slept in an upper berth in the sleeping car. In the night he awakened and sat uj “Do you know where you are, Kol asked his mother. “Course [. do,” answer promptly. “I'm in the Christian Advocate, The Greatest Change water becomes ice ked the teacher, what is the great change that takes greatest change ma‘an the “is the change in price."—Our elnimals, Comfort German—Let_'em so as much as they like! Our capital is in Switzer- land !—Nebelspalter (Zurich)