Judge — October 25, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DOCTORS g Needed Shaving — “Doctor in?” d the caller. Yes, sir,” repl “Can I see hin “I'm afraid not room, shaving.” “Oh, very well sent me up to him shave that a_ little.” man, the maid. He's upstairs in his Take this bill nd see if h Yonkers S Accounted For—Rankin—A famous physician says the less people wear the longer they live. —That probably accounts for vity of chorus girls.—Youngs- town Telegram. Rubbing It In—Docto father insulted me. have me attend a cat for him. Miss Keen—The idea! I don't see why papa should fear to commit a cat to your charge— at has nine lives — Boston Transcript. The Modern Family Doctor—“Who is your family doctor?” “T can't tell you.’ “Why not? Don’t you know his name?” “Yes, Dr. Johnson used to be our family doctor, but nowadays mother goes to an eye specialist; father to a stomach specialist; sister goes to a throat specialist; my brother is in the care of a lung specialist, and I'm ments from an osteopath.” —Detroit Free Press. Aven > Sen Curate (speaking on the question of women ministering in the church)—Per- sonall. Show (London). The Wise Specialist—“ Madam,” an- nounced the specialist, after an exam- what you need is oxygen. You must come here twice a day for your inhalations, They will cost you $3 well,” replied the delighted Iyup. “I knew that fool Doc- lidn’t understand my case at all. He told me that all I needed was plain fresh air.”"—Cincinnati. Enquirer. That Was All—“Are you a doctc she asked the young man who runs the xda_ fountain. », madam,” he replied, “I'm a fizz- ician.”—Roston Transcript. The Flavor Lasts “Je te préviens que, si ta mére se hh “T want you to understand that if e. je ne veux qu'on mange de poisson?” mother goes into the ocean, none of the family are to eat fish this summer."—Le Rire (Paris). 13 I have always felt that “The Clergy” should embrace women !—Passing WET AND DRY Difference Twixt Man and Woman —"Jones’ wife found a bottle washed up.on the seashore and she was disap- pointed because it didn't have a love note in it” nd how about Jones?” “Oh, he was disappointed n't have a drink in it nes-Union. pecause it Florida All It Needed—J'cast—This paper ys that Hungarian whisky is made jously from turnips, mixed meal, po- tatoes and molasses. Crimsonbeak—Well, all it needs 1s a small portion of meat to make it a goulash, then—Yonkers Statesman, Under Suspicion— said the irate visitor, “you had something about me in your paper that has gotta be corrected.” “If the item was wrong,” the editor smoothly replied, “we shall cheerfully do as you re “I told one of your reporters I saw a beautiful goldfinch perching on a twig just outside the window of my bedroom. ” c “And when the item came out in the paper it 1 ‘“GOLDFIS “That isn’t so ba “Oh, isn't it though? Well, ever since it was in the paper friends of mine have been hanging about our house thinking I have a private supply of something to drink in my cellar.”"— Youngstown Telegram,