Judge — October 25, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Almost to the Boards—Mr. Blank is very wealthy and very close. An al quaintance of his met Blank’s son the « rda id said: her seems to have lost a good deal of money lately. The last time I saw him he was complaining, and x he must econom ‘ig Zconomize, eb Did father say where he was going to begin?” “Yes: on his table, “Then I guess he must be going to take away the tablecloth,” was the final aration—Houston Post, he said. Somewhat Perplexed—“What's the problem?” “A perplexing one. Mrs. Skiddo claims she got six bad eggs in the last “She wants me to make ‘em good. Detroit Free Press. Ambiguous—I!aiter—The guy who ordered that lobster ewburg com- plains that you put no sherry in it. Chef (haughtily)—Tell him that 1 never forget myself!—Buffalo Express His Choice—“Any particular choice 2 sked the butcher. * replied the customer, “I'd like cut Of about 50 per cent in pr Boston Transcript. Election Morning Perplexities “Pour lequel vais-je ; Mer voter?” For which shall I vote?” je aller voter?” vote?"—Le Péle- ° lequel_va which shail 1 (Paris). Pride Preceded Fall—The Judge— So you claim you robbed that delica- tessen store because you were starving ? Why didn’t you take somethin: tead of stealing all the cash out of the register? The Accused—Cause I'm a proud man, Judge, an’ I make it a rule to pay for everything I eat—/fouston Post. His Reward (refused a new hat) You're lucky I always get indigestion. I cook and cook for you, and what do I get? London Opinion, 19 Another Shantung Problem — Mr Longsufferer—You must be more ful with the china. That was a com- plete cighty-picce dinner set when you came. by this time—/Houston [ost Laboring Under a Handicap—"This author says he has tramped about the beaten his way on freight nd been thrown into jails to get terial for his stories.” “That's the way to study life at first hand.” “Quite so, But he scene of his next story in a fashionable hotel. He says he’s too old to be a bell- hop and too poor to be a guest.”"— Birmingham Age-Herald. vants to lay the Cause Enough—Caller (whispering) Jhat_ makes your husband look so pale and nervous? Mrs, Dibbs—Just before you came we drew lots to see who'd fire the cook and I won—Buffalo Express Hobbled—Mrs. Nextdoor—How do you manage to keep your cook so long? You've had her two weeks. Mrs. Skeemer—I gave her some of those stylish narrow skirts to. wear in the kitchen and she won't be able to walk a block from the house till they're worn out—Dallas News. His Idea—The girl had been sent down to the brook to fetch a pail of water, but stood gazing at the flowing stream, apparently lost in. thought. hat’s she waiting for?” said her mistress, who wa “Dunno,” replied hubby. “P'r'aps she hasn't seen a pailful she likes yet."—London Tit-Bits. Advantage of Telephoning — “Did you have words with your cook when you discharged her?" ‘Oh, no,” said Mr. Glipping. for her.” “T was before she had a chance t she thought of me, the members of my family, my home. my come and my position i iety.” Age-Herald. Not Well Done—Church—I saw a very rare bird today. Gotham—In an aviary ¥ restaurant in a —Vonkers Statesman, Evidence—“Hlow do you know that he’s a millionaire “He eats."—Buffalo Express.