Judge — October 25, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“You have a_ shilling I have a shilling. We swap. You have my shilling and I have yours. We are no better off. But suppose you have an idea and I have an idea. We swap. Now you have two ideas and I have two ideas We have increased our st 100 per cent."—Casson’s Magaczi: A Temporary Expedient — “What shall we do to remedy the high cost of livin “IN see if I can't get a_job to sist in investigating it. Maybe the salary will be enough to help tide us over.”"—Washington Star, And You Never Can—"Queer thing about religion.” “What is it?” “You never can tell what church a man goes to by the way he acts down town on week days."—Detroit Free Press. Exemplary—Customer—But is he a good bird? I mean, I hope he doesn't use dreadful language. Dealer —'Fs a saint, lady. Sines tyms beautiful. [ ‘ad some parrots wot used to swear something awful, but, if you'll believe me, this ‘ere bird con- verted the lot—London Tit-Bits, A Suggestion—“Would it be all right to beat a grass rug?” “[ don't know, my dear. Perhaps better just run the lawnmower over —Louisville Courier Journal. Exception to the Rule—“You may be sure that no man can go wrong by following a good example.” “Oh, 1 don’t know—there’s the coun- terfeiter."—Boston Transcript. Overdoing It—“What occasioned the sudden disappearance of Casecard Charley from Crimson Gulch?” “Too much safety first,” responded Cactus Joe. “Just before the poker game started the boys caught him marking the deck.”"—IVashington Star. Her Fear—An old couple from the country wandered into a moving-pic- ture show in town. As they entere a cowboy picture was being he old lady laid a restraining hand on her husband's arm. “Bill.” she said, “let's not go too far down in front; the dust those horses are kickin’ up is somethin’ awful. My clothes ll be ruined !"—London Tit-Bits. The Start—//oy! I am writing a moving picture scenario. Doyle—How far have you progressed? Hoy Well, I have begun with the kiss at the end —Cartoons Magazine. ernanten—Vi kommer nu til Kej- ser Caligula. Hvad ved Komtessen at m ham? ier). n (efter en laengere Pause) rigtig Komte jo mindre er om denne Kejser des bedre. —We now come to the Em- peror ula, What can your Lady- ship say about him? Countess remains silent. Governess—Quite right! The least said about him, the best—Alods Hans (Copenhagen), Of the Old School—Movie Manager The new character man is the nerv- jest geek I ever saw The Press A. a hard cheek. “LE wonder where he gets that stu “I think he must be one of those old- double in —He certainly has Experience — } e Jiplin is to bec movie actor? Crimsont about act “Why, ter somewheres."—Yonkers Statesman, comedy he know “Wild Western” Atmosphere—“Do hink the movies are demoraliz- wouldn't care to say so,” replied Mr. Dubwaite, thoughtfully, “but [ hold a certain movie star responsible for a great deal of fancy gunplay that goe on in my backyard with toy pistols Birmingham Age-Herald. Movie Tragedy—“The lips should move when you. are supposed to be sepaking. Now in this scene you de- nounce your husband. So let your jaws responded Pauline Per- mme a wad of gum.”— Detroit Free Press, Close to Nature “T can imitate the rush of the waves to perfection. All I now need is to get the audience wet with the spray."—Lustige Blaetter (Berlin). 16