Judge — October 18, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Second-Hand & Bystander (London.) Strange, If True—“ Mr. Gadspur extols the advantage of a college educa- tion.” “And no wonder.” - “Why?” “His son spent four years at college withc becoming engaged to a chorus girl or learning how to play the ukulele.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Unfortunately—“ Now if you could just hit it right by composing the words for a popular song,” urged his friend, “you might get independently rich.” “T know it,” he groaned, “but, alas, I am educated.”—Portland Oregonian Too Many Studies—“Don’t you think you could learn to love me?” “Prexy says I’m taking too many studies alread responded the fair co-ed.— Louisville Courier-Journal, The Nerve of Him!—‘ What are you writing, old man?” “An article entitled ‘Advice to Grad- uates.’” “Eh! the presumption!” Advice to grad— Well, of all Boston Transcript. 20 | COURTING |_ cee Gentle Reminder—Polly—lI like to have Jack call, but he never knows when to go. Dolly—Why don’t you install a small- sized traffic semaphore?—Buffalo Ex- press. He Needed Encouragement.— “Well,” remarked Cupid Sparks, the marriage license man, the other day, “‘a chap in my neighborhood whom I have been waiting to come around for a license for a long time, finally mustered up courage to propose and came in the other day for his sentence. I know the young lady quite well, too, so asked her how he finally managed it. She said: “Well, he stayed around one night till nearly 12. I gave him a lot of encour- agement, but he just couldn’t say any- thing. Finally, after he had gotten his hat, he said: “*Mabel, do you read the papers?’ “T told him of course I did. “*And have you read about the in- come taxes?” “T certainly have. “And have you read that after sixty days the government is going to tax mar- riage licenses?” “Yes, I read that. “ ‘Well, don’t you think that—that we ought to practice economy and hurry?’”” Los Angeles Times. The Latest in Government Operations ae —Vous en faites pas, ma bonne dame: les mendiants sont en greve, alors c'est nous qu'on les remplace. “Mercy me! Why, what— “Don’t be disturbed, lady. The beggars have gone on strike and so we policemen have yot to replace them.”—Le Rire (Paris).