Judge — September 27, 1919 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

¥ THE OLD SOD Verbal Reaction—Mrs. Clancy was a very sarcastic woman, and it is prob- ably due to this fact that she had a fall ing out with her friend, Mrs. Murphy, who lived in the apartment just under her. One day while Mrs. Clancy was feel- ing particularly mean she looked down from her window and saw Mrs. Murphy also enjoying the scenery. She could not resist the temptation to take a shot ather. “Oi say, Murphy,” y,”" she called down in deep sarcasm, “why don’t ye take your ugly ould mug out iv the windy and put your pet monkey in its place? That'd give the naybors a change they’d like.” Mrs. Murphy looked up. “Well, now, Mrs. Clancy,” she slowly said, “it was only this mornin’ that I did that very thing, an’ the poleeceman came along an’ whin he saw the monkey he bowed and shmiled and said: “Why, M Clancy, whin did ye move down shtairs —Sinn Fein Advocate. She Got Him—Pat didn’t know just how to pop the question, and appealed to his mother. Then to the girl of his heart—“ Mary,” said he, “me mother wants to know if ye’ll come and live with us always?” “Go home,” said Mary very coyly, “and tell your mother I will.”—Erery- body's. Biddy’s Comeback—Mistress—Now, Bridget, there’s no use of further argu- ment as to how the dish should be pre- pared, but our ideas on the subject are so different that it is evident one or the other of us is crazy. Bridget—True for ye, mum—an’ sure it isn’t elf'd be kapin’ a crazy cook.— Boston Transcript. Casey Was Top-Heavy—There had been a slight accident in a Pennsylvania coal mine, with the result that Casey was partly buried by a small quantity of earth. Callahan, the leader of the rescuing party, called down to C “Kape aloive, Casey. We're rescuin’ ye.” Whereupon there came from the earth a muffled voice, “Is that big McIntyre up there wid ye?” “Shure he is.”” “Thin him plaze to step off the rooit I’ve enough on top o’ me widout him.” —Harper’s Magazine. A Bit of Still Life “Look, Maud, t put us in'the picture? POLITICS Senatorial Courtesy- -“ What is sen- atorial courtesy?” “Senatorial courtesy,” replied Senator Sorghum, “consists largely in remaining silent so ostentatiously that anybody can guess what unpleasant things you must be thinking about.” —Washington Star. The Kick In It Only Froth.—Daily Express (London). 2 a san artist painting our side of the road. Shall we pull up and let him Passing Shooe, London. Multitudinous Brain Fag—“You don’t mean to tell me you ever doubt the wisdom of the majority?” “Well,” responded Senator Sorghum with deliberation, “what is a majority? In many instances it is only a large number of people who have got tired out trying to think for themselves and have decided to accept somebody else’s opinion.”—Washington Star, American, All Right—“I do not want anything made in Germany,” said the Lady in the Toy Store. “Are you sure this is an American doll?” “Just try it for yourself, ma’am,” re- plied the Clerk. “When you squeeze it it says: ‘Votes for women!’”—Cincin- nati Enquirer. Thrift—“Senator Twobble, your po- litical opponents charge that you have two members of your family acting as your clerks.” “True, sir.” “But isn’t that nepotism, sena- tor?” “No, sir. That's plain common sense and foresight. I haven’t the slightest chance of being re-elected when my term expires.”’—Birmingham Age-Herald. Vocal Agitation—“ Since my wife got to attending political conventions she says she is as happy as a bird.” “Good comparison. Did you ever stop and listen to the noise in a bird store?" —Washington Star. comichooks.qetn) = so F at Ss y= core