Judge — September 27, 1919 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Prevailing Craze ¢ Rescuer—Are you in difficulties? The Professional Viewpoint—* Has our client a good case?” “Good for several thousand dollars.” Boston Transcript. Recklessness—" They are still talkin’ about trying old Bill Hohenzollern.” said Three-Finger Sam “Well,” commented Cactus Joe, “that jest shows the difference between Berlin and Crimson Gulch. In this town they couldn't find a lawyer with nerve enough to take his case.” —Washington Star. The Discharge Would Not Take— The judge was evidently getting a bit fed up with the jury, and at last he an- nounced “T discharge the jury!” A tall, lean member of the twelve then rose. uy, judge, you can’t discharge me!” Can't discharge you? Why not?” thundered the other. “Waal,” replied the ju to counsel for the defens by that guy over ther yman, pointing “T was hired —Jack Canuck Out of His Line—It was one of those rare occasions when Attorney Guernsey lost a case and he wasn’t feeling so very happy over it. “Your profession doesn’t make angels out of men, does it?” said a medical i ingly. snapped Lou, “that’s one thing we leave to you doctors!"—University Sor qninet We're only doing a few Jazz steps.—London Opinion. Inconsistency—" Yes, I was fined $200 for putting coloring matter in artificial butte “Well, didn’t you deserve it? Perhaps. But what made me mad was that the magistrate who imposed the fine had dyed whiskers.”—AMile- stones. Fifty-Fifty—“Do you think these alienists are any good at a trial?” “Some, I take it. An alienist is the only person I ever saw who could bluff a lawyer.” —Philadelphia Evening Ledger. Settled Ja Pastor, Ola, endeli? er sore Hoorledes det da?” “Jo ser du, Pastor, igaar fik vi hore fra’n, ai naa'var'n *sat ind for Livsti*, der inde i Kresti- u er jeg saa gla’, at for for hele si? “Yes, Pastor, Iam glad that my son, Ola, now safely provided for for the rest of t life “Indeed! “Well, I d that we heard fro: Christiania telling just given him a li (Christiania) is that?” t know how. I only know him yesterday from s that some judge had term.” —Vikingen 2 DOCTORS. f oa Score Two— You are suffering from brain fag and ennui,” announced the specialist. ‘You should take more in- terest in your business.” “T would like to.” replied the patient. “Then why don’t you?” demanded the specialist. “The law won't let me,” replied the patient. “I’m a pawnbroker."”"—Journal of the American Medical Association. Getting a Line on Him—Afrs. Styles -I have been down to see the doctor. Mr. Styles—And he asked to see your tongue. vo, he didn’t “Well, he asked if you had cold feet?” “No, he didn’t.” “Well, then, he asked if you had pains in your back and headache?” . he didn’t.” Well, what in thunder, then, did he ask you?” “He wanted to know what your in- Yonkers Statesman. come was!" Notice of Removal—A Hamden woman, recently received a notice from the medical inspector of a certain school that “after careful examination it de- velops that your small son’s tonsils are infected and must be removed at onc To which she made reply: “Dear Doctor—I have received your note in regard to the removal of my young son’s tonsils, which action, I gather, must be taken immediately I assure you that Iam ready and eager to follow your adv and would do so instantly but for the fact that you have neglected to state where you wish them removed to The tonsils you speak of are now, I believe, in a bottle in Dr. Blank’s office, having been held in trust by him for me since the spring of 1915 Do you wish them removed to the school building, or your office, or elsewhere? Yours very truly, “Mrs. J.B.” <i’ Haven Register Bullets and Bones—Bili—Did you see that story about doctors making sol- diers cough bullets from their heads?” Gill—Yes, I saw it in the papers. “Tsn’t it ridiculous?” “Why no. I've known a doctor to make me cough up a couple of ‘bones’ from my person.” —Vonkers Statesman. comichooks.