Judge — September 20, 1919 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

For the love of Mike!” ex- claimed the Friend. “Does this flivver always make this racket?” w,"’ replied the Driver. “Only when it’s running,” —Cincinnati Enquirer. Stepped On It—“What was he pinched for?” “His father let him use the auto for an hour. “Well “He tried to ride an hour in fifteen minutes.” —Houston Post. Edifying the Neighbors—“ Your new chauffeur?” “Is an imported product,” replied Mrs. Grabcoin, “a. Belgian who can’t speak a word of English “Ah! That ought to give you a cer- tain amount of social prestige.” “I'm afraid not. Mr. Grabcoin per- sists in standing on the curb and trying to tell the poor man in the sign language where he wishes to go.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. A Wise One—“ You never travel alone in your auto.” “No. I always like to have a friend along to do the work if I should have to change a tire.""—Detroit Free Press. Help in Time of Trouble Mes certificats? Vous saurez, madame,qu'au- jourd’hui c'est pas ses références quon de- ‘mande d une domestique, mais ses preferences. “My references? I will have you know, m’am, that today jt is not_a maid’s refer- ences that should" be considered, but her preferences.” —Le Rire (Paris). Plenty of Ha, Ha But No Houses 3TATZA 3 ABVOH ' { ! | | omald | 29auJAV an 2AIMOITIVE ot arene 7 The Man Who Asked a Real Estate Agent if He Had a House to Let—Punch, London. Clubs Trumps—Xedd—Great changes have occurred since the Stone Age. Greene—I should say so. In the Stone Age man needed but one club with which to beat his wife, but when he goes out on the links now he seems to need about a dozen.—Yonkers Statesman. The Dub—“ What you need is more exercise.” ‘* More exercise, doctor! Wh: man, I still take 102 strokes every time I play a round of golf.”"—Detroit Free Press. A Golf Problem—Seven vicious swipes the green golfer made at the ball, but it still remained perched upon the tee. He was about to make another attempt when the caddie held up his hand. “There's a man going across in front of you, sir. “What if he is?” snapped the novice. “You must cry ‘Fore!’ if there’s any- body in the way when you're going to hit the ball.” “How in thunder do I know when I’m going to hit the ball?” cried the golfer angrily.—Boston Transcript. 2 The Old Lady's Comment— made a two hundred yard drive yester- day,” said the golf nut. “You look to me,” said the nice old lady, “like a man who ought to be ashamed to want to ride such a short distance as that."”—Detroit Free Press. The Reason Why—“ The golfer must keep his eye strictly on the ball.” “That must be why pretty girls don’t go in much for golf." —Lonisville Courier- Journal, Strong on the Foozle— Patience— Saw young Niblick out playing golf yesterday. Patrice—Oh, yes, he plays occasionally. “How’s his game?” “Oh, he plays all games indifferently.” “Calling on you yet, isn’t he?” yes, and brings candy some- And flowers occasionally?” “Yes, occasionally.”” Says sweet things?” s, at times.” “Whistles the wedding march?” “Yes, and that’s as near as he gets to proposing.” “Think you ought to be disappointed.” “Oh, well, he always was strong on the ‘foozle,’ you know.""— Yonkers Statesman. COMICDOOK’