Judge — September 20, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Served—“ Why is Flubdub sputtering so about the service at that café?” “Some slick lawyer persuaded a waiter to serve Flubdub with a sub- poena.”"—Louisville Courier-Journal, Ignoring Facts—“ Too many asper- sions are cast on the legal profession.”” “How's that?” “Well, for one thing, lawyers are ac- cused of taking liberties with the truth.” “Umph! Have you never heard a law- yer refer at the end of every other sen- tence to the ‘intelligent gentlemen of the jury’?”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. Some Business—A lawyer trying a case before a jury fn the Superior Court of Massachusetts, stood up to cross- examine a witness whose testimony was very damaging to his side. “On the night in question,” he began, addressing the witness, “did you not have everal drinks of whisky?” That's my business,” answered the witness, “T know it’s your business,” quickly responded the lawyer, “but were you attending to it?”"—Osteopathic Magazine. A Friend in Need Dites, M. le cambrioleur, pendant que tous ¥ des, pourrics-cous me chercher un bouton de chemise que j'ai égaré ce matin. “Hey there, Mr. Burglar! While you are under that bed, I wish you would look for a collar-button that I lost under there this morning.” —Péle Méle (Paris). The Law's Delay—“What's your grudge against Judge Wombat?” “Too hasty; too hasty. Gives a man no time to prepare his cases. Case of mine has been on the docket only 10 years and he insists on my going to trial.”” —Kansas City Journal. Each to His Specialty—“ That law- yer made you admit there are a lot of things you don’t know.” “He had an unfair advantage. If I had been permitted to ask all the ques- tions I could have done the same thing with him.” —Washington Star. Synthetic Babies (Bre Som £3 ARO Tra BQATEWET GEAAS OMENLIGT OVERENSKOMIMELSE A Picture of the Future—Naggen (Stockholm). 20 ON THE FARM i A Costly Vocation—Quentin Roose- velt at a flying school in France talked about his father’s farming experiences. “My father,” he said, “was a gentle- man farmer for many years. Now he'd have a ranch. Now he'd have a planta- tion. The experience was costly. “*Father,’ I said to him one day in my childhood, ‘what is a gentleman farmer?’ “*Quentin,’ said my father, ‘a gentle- man farmer is a chap who never raises anything except his hat.’”—Washington Star. Wonderful—“I have just been taking some moving pictures of life on your farm.” “Did you catch any of my laborers in motion?” asked the old man, curi- ously, “Sure, I did.” The farmer shook his head _reflec- tively, then said: “Science is a won- derful thing.”—Kansas City Star. City Girl, All Right—The seventeen- year-old daughter of a city man was isiting a farm for the first time. She immediately became interested in the prize cattle, and asked many questions. One evening, just at dusk, as the girl was standing at the open door of the farmhouse talking to the manager, there came the low mournful note of a cow. “Just listen to that poor cow,” said the girl, “‘mewing for her colt.” —Pitts- burg Chronicle-Telegraph. The Fastidious Landlord—“That your father up the road?" asked the man in the linen duster. “Yes'r,”" replied the boy with many freckles, “He tells me there are lots of mos- quitoes around here.”” : “Why, mister, I don’t see's he ought to have told you that. Pap's gettin’ kind o’ weak in the eyes.” “What has that to do with it?” “Well, you sce, pap’s got a system. When anybody asks about summer board they always mention mosquitoes. If Pap likes their looks he tells the truth, ‘which is that we haven't scen a skeet in ten years, but if folks don’t happen to please him he draws on his imagina and fills the air with winged terrors, Washingon Star.