Judge — September 13, 1919 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Beptember 13, 1919 JUDGE'S department of “ Bad Breaks” carried in its Digest of Humor has from the start attracted increasing attention. We wish to expand it to still greater approval. JUDGE pays $1 each for tad Breaks clipped from newspapers, reproduced from bok, etc., and sent in by readers, and hereafter will add a prize of $5 weekly for the Bad Break regarded as the most amusing during that period. This department is open to ontributions from all sources, ‘and the efforts of readers to enhance its value and inci- entally profit from it are solicited. Stayin’ at Home By H.W. Dee M Y wife has gone to th’ country, boys, An’ th’ kid—she’s with her, too; I'm roamin’ round like a homeless hound With his framework showin’ through. I'm a homey man who don't I’ke clubs, And I’m through w ih wine and song, And th’ next time Sal an’ th’ little gal Go 'way—I'm goin’ along. Our house is a raft o’ cheerless junk, There’s a chilly creak to th’ doors, Th’ rugs muss up an’ th’ curtains flup, An’ th’ grit gets on th’ floors. I want t' vee things shine again, An’ hear a bit 0” noi: “George, move y’1 feet,” sweet— But she’s gone to th’ country, boys. would sound right I'd love t’ see 'em draggin’ in— My wife an’ that blue-eyed kid, An’ hear her say as she runs my way, “Look, daddy, what I did. Jes’ keep on laughin’, I don’t care, I know if it was you, You'd give your life U see your wife An’ th’ kid--it her eyes were blue. A Modern Fantasy By Fatrrax D. Downey THE lights glittered brightly in the spa- cious café. At tables on which never a thin-stemmed glass sparkled with its bubbles of joy sat disconsolate couples, whining and g. Clouds of tobacco smoke, the only re- maining dissipation the law permitted, hung y throughout the room. Here and there waiters passed to the ladies the assorted cigars, while gentlemen puffing pipes with huge bowls mixed their favorite blends of tobacco in cock- tail shakers. Off in an alcove sat a bored young habituée, her silkily sinuous dress profusely covered with glittering sequins and war taxes. One jeweled hand lazily flicked into the chicken a 4s king the last of her perfumed cigarettes. Hastily her escort rolled her another and placed it between her carmine lips. She puffed once—then rose and flung the lumpy, ill-made thing back—back in his false face. “That’s not the kind that mother used to make,” she shrieked. EGYPTIAN DEITIES “Qhe Utmost in Cigarettes” PlainEnd or Gout Tip People of culture and refinement invariably PREFER CDeities to any other cigarette Boston Garter Vad upp The comfort and long service you enjoy in wearing the Boston Garter are the result of our -fixed policy — Quality First! GEORGE FROST CO. MAKERS BOSTON BECOME AN Accoun ANT | ROMEIKE’S "8558 currinc BUREAU ‘i ject on which you may want to be “up-to-date, We will send you all newspaper lippings which may appear about you. your friends, or any sub- ” Bvery news. eper and periadical of importance ia the United States and f 109 notice | HENRY ROMElKce, 100-116 ‘Seventh Aven “New York Regarding Subscription and Editorial Matters SUBSCRIPTION OFFICES: Building. 225 Filth Avenue, NEW Wm. Dawson & Led. B00 Maia office— Brunswick YORK. Eunpean agent agent . Breams’ Bide. jaces foreign countries dd" 31.c0 2 year, year apd 1918, 10 cents each: 1917, 20 cents each; Cents each, etc. Ripa a eperor etter as commected with JUDGE show ‘rodenbate WADUEREISINC'O onde Bide, New York: «Boston, e bide Chicage: Heary Bide: Soun “e CHANGE IN ADDRESS: Sobscriber's olf address as weil as the new must be sent in with request for the change. Also 1916, 30 sive the umber appearing ca the right hand ede of the address on the ‘kes {rom ten days to two weeks to make ‘ED ior RIAL OFFICE: 225 Pith Avenue, New York City Contribuiors be glad to consider jokes and storken: Contributions should always be accom by post ee rent Tere by Le ener, Entered at the ‘opyright. 1010. ‘oem tered a Ponoice ai New Vork as | fait Matters "bute lahed, weetly, by” Loaie Judee Company. 235, Fuh Areas, New York. John A" Steicher, President. Reuben P. Sigicher, Secretary. AE. Roliawer, Tieasurer. Printed by the Schwemler Prose ‘Address oll correspondence to 225 Fifth Avenue JUDGE New York City