Judge — September 13, 1919 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘The Road to Health Is Smooth and Clear If You Use Nujol HE real Road to Health is an intestinal highway 30 feet long. When Constipation clogs this road, it’s the same as when a land- slide blocks a mountain pass. There is a difference, however. Constipa- tion not only blocks the way, but breeds poisons which menace health. The obstruction in the mountain pass can be blown out with dynamite, and the obstruction in the intestines CAN be blown out with powerful drugs— but any drug powerful enough to do this is bound to harm the body. There is only one way to relieve Con- stipation without in the least measure endangering the delicate mechanism of the human system. That is the Nujol way. Nujol is absolutely harmless. It is NOT a drug. Not a particle of it is assimilated by the body. All it does is to soften the mass impacted in the colon and lubricate the way to normal expulsion. Nujol does this without causing any pain or discomfort. It does not in any way interfere with the digestive processes. It has no more effect on the delicate membranes and tissues than to smooth and soothe them. It is a healing force which gently but effectively removes the intestinal ob- struction, and performs this great serv- ice to health without in any way lessen- ing Nature’s provisions for protection. It’s sole province is to help Nature help herself. Nearly everyone is subject to Con- stipation at some time or other. Nearly everyone has proved the worth- lessness of ordinary ‘‘remedies’’ as to lasting results. Now try Nujol— and learn that there is a lasting cure for this curse. Nojol is sold only in sealed bottles bearing the W © Nojol Trade-Mark. Alldruggists, Insist on ARNING: Sieryrhine Alara ion Write for valuable health booklet—“ Thirty Feet of Danger’’—free. Nujol Laboratories, sTANDARD OIL CO. (NEW JERSEY) 50 Broadway, New York Nujol REG. US. PAT. OFF, For Constipation Sickness Prevention Any Diamond CREDIT Send No Money {i ,0itor in: arges prepaid, Examine care- {ully—id etic pov U5 ga 10% monthly. re oe vareuses anes Fava Say rere ren are rp SUPERIOR value 48% Soet Youur x rar Caniog Re 8B. Tat See . M. LYON & CO., 1 Maiden Lane, Ww YORK JUDGE October Menus for September |1{ Brides i BREAKPAST Sliced Dill Pickles with Cream Any Uncooked Cereal Choice of Morning Paper Goo-Goo Eyes | Coffee (?) | Cream Osculated Sugar Soft Boiled Egg Shells , Kiss Kiss Luncneon | Consommé de l'eau chaud Olives Bread Sliced to Order Fresh Fudge Kiss Dinner Oysters in the Whole Shei Salt Toasted Marshmallows Chewing Gum Sizzled Lamb Chops Oil Vinegar Cut Flowers Digestive Pills Pop Corn A Summary A certain Rear Admiral used to terrorize the fleet. One day, for example, as he came aboard ship he noticed a man slouching in a boat at the boom’s end. “Captain, Captain!" he shouted, “there’s a man sick in the boat.” Another time when he entered his quarters he saw a carpenter who indiscreetly kept at work there. “Orderly, orderly,” he screamed, a: if in alarm, “something is in this room! Take it out!” One night the fleet anchored off a small town. The Admiral’s wife was there, a sweet old lady and very deaf. There was only one small hotel in the town and several officers, including the Admiral, put up there for the night. About midnight the voice of the Ad- miral was heard through the thin partitions. As it continued and increased in vociferation the officers quaked and despaired. Finally the wee voice of Mrs. Admiral interrupted: “Henry, I can’t tell what you're saying and I know you're swearing, but you are not going back to the ship tonight.” Such a Racquette By Norman Stuckey When I play golf with Mariette,” My kissing score is very tame, But tennis with fair Colinctte, Brings net results that win the game. Proof of It Parker—Your new stenographer is as homely as a clock, Tucker—More so, The men in the office keep their eyes on the clock nearly all the time now.