Judge — September 13, 1919 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Does Y OER Hand Itch for a Pencil? F your hand jiches for a pencil you may have In you te [23% pola erent certocmiat, Vou deo wot have’ to, be @ Suthave a liking for drawing and develop tt eae es for you in this fateiigently” there are many opps rots le profession ‘Through the Federal course in Ap 32 grate cartoonists wll el Briges. J.T. Met: Feat ‘Things Free ‘contains studio pictures of the members of the Federal ‘add describes the Federal Course in detail. Write now toryour free copy to Cs » the modern pebenr invention, the wonderful new discovery that relieves rup- ture, will be sent on trial. No ob- r noxious springs or pads. umn. ¢. €. scons Brooks’ Rupture Appliance Has automatic Air Cushions. Binds and draws the broken parts together as you would a broken limb. No salves. No lies. Durable, cheap. Sent on trial to prove it. Protected by U. S. patents. ‘atalog and measure blanks mailed free. Send name forsprains & } sore muscles keep it handy ‘A Smart Hotel for Smart People’ Metropatitan Im every respect, yet homey In ite atmompher= HOTEL WOLCOTT Very desiranle for women traveling alone Thirty- First Street, by Fifth Aveane, New York CE GUIRS | “MADE AT KEY WEST The Anthology of a Boarding House By Herry Carrere Parker Tue Lanpiapy. HER bust was irrepressible, ke her curiosity. She knew Human Nature And did not ask to see marriage certificates. Her faith in tenants was so strong She made it a point to be the one in debt to them For telephone nickels, or something. But she was a good soul And tended and petted a diabetic puppy With a Roman nose. Tue Maw Mercepes. Mercedes was the world’s tragedienne. She was always All broken up. She was never without a broken heart, And a broken back, And plenty of broken English. But she had good reason for gloom— Turning mattresses every day for neurotic women, And making her basement room a creche For a convalescent cat and her half dozen kittens. Tue Trirp Froor Back. The Third Floor Back was a nervous woman Who sang the O Sole Mio every evening, Adored phonographs And wanted her sheets changed three times a week. Her pet horrors were the parlor piano, Billy Sunday, And vocal students. She thought art ought to be quiet. She left—a victim of higher education. Tue Seconp FLoor Front. The Second Floor Front housed the oldest renter. She a diplomat, mmerman. She was always sure to get a bath on Saturday EIGHT (COURSES | Draws by Pace Ramu JUDGE She had learned by rooming. Whenever she heard water running in the third floor bath She hurried to the second floor bath And turned the spigot And got part of the hot water. And sometimes there were three faucets going. The other would be turned on by the vocal student. Tue Vocat StupEnt. He was tall and thin, And sang like a choir boy—a sort of mezzo- soprano. He had an ambition. He wanted to be like Caruso, And get three thousand dollars a night for a warble. He pressed his own pants And saved the fifty cents for a lesson, And he needs another. Miss Weeks, CLERK. She had in common with all other nice girls A job and a romance. And she kept them both in good condition. Thus, she said little and left little to be said. Wherein she was different from the Janitor. Tue Janitor. He was never sure he had a job, And he was too old for a romance. He worked, But he didn’t know whether his weekly wage Was a joke or a reprimand. Tue Proressor. He knew seven languages And could converse with the maid in her native tongue. He practiced popular airs on the parlor piano To keep Human, And destroyed harmony in the Boarding House. And they all lived together, Apart. With one thing in common, The dining table. He Wuo Reaps May Run