Judge — July 19, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drnen ty Miwaan Paneer Digest ofthe W orld’s Humor One a Week say you xd references “Yes, ma'am. 1 have dred splendid “And how I mestic service? Two years, ning Bulletin have over a ferences. ng have you been ‘n do: ma'am.” —Philadel ph Not Much—* Does the Missus’ omy make much difference to you asked the new servant “She says we've got econ to be saving, se *ave margarine with meals in the hen.” replied the old cook Doesn't she have it, then?” “Not her, She says as ‘ow it doesn’t suit her digestion. But there ain’t noth ing wrong with her digestion. We know for we often sends ‘er up margarine ‘ave butter ourselves.” ere to Utilizing His Emotion boy is in love with the new stenographer.” What are you going to do about it?’ “Nothing whatsoever. Why, he'd pass up a ball game to bask in her smiles.” Birmingham -tge-Herald Our oflice Her Air Presumptive— “Pa, the ser vant asked for more money today.” Great Scott! That girl acts as though I were her husband.”’— Detroit Free Press Hushand (at this is a Suspicious By George, regular banquet. Finest spread I’ve sat down to in an age. at’s up? Do you expect company? Wife—No, but I think the cook does. Boston Transcript. dinner) Detroit Free Mated and Checkmated Well, old man, be y)—Oh, she’s all right Hopeful—“ How's that new cook I saw you taking home the other night?” “By George! I think we're going to p'ease he Boston Transcript. His Plea—AMrs. Jones—The cook re- fuses to get up earlier than 7.30 o'clock Mr, Jones—Ask her if she won't do it for a couple of days until I can arrange . my business.—Phriladelphia Inquirer. A Highly Colored Palate- are going to let your cook go?” “Yes, can’t afford to keep her. I don’t mind the but her tastes in food are out of my ceach.”— Washington Star So you salary An Even Break—‘ Young man, are you satisfied with vour present position?” “Naw, but it’s fifty-fifty, The boss ain’t satisfied with the way I fill it, cithe “Detroit Free Press 7 | WET AND DRY ab and she can Exciting—" She can bake brew.” “Brew?” said the ch? That's worth Kansas City Journal. “Brew into,” colonel looking “Colonel a new sup: Impossible Profiteering I heah, sah, yeh have laid in ply of liquor, an’ I understan’ it is right high in price nowadays.” “My deah Majuh, I—ah nine dollahs a quawt foh it, sah “Ain't that a trifle expensive, Col onel?” “Not in my estimation, sah fust time I have evuh had th’ privilege ewheh neah th’ figure | wuth."—N ex It is th” of payin’ som have always considered it York Evening Post. A Barber's Plan—“I'm afraid we'll have to charge 35 cents for a shave from now on,” said the barber. “How's that?” asked the Chair. Well,” replied the barber, faces are getting longer and longer every day thinking of Prohibition, and it takes twice as long to shave them.” Cincinnati Man in the men’s lnguirer “Washington ha Stocking Up t of Magnificent Dis called the ‘City tances.’ * “T believe so,” replied the prohibition Congressman, “but after a person gets used to running over to Baltimore every day or two, the distance that separ: his boarding house from the capitol seems hardly worth considering." —Birming ham Age-Hera comicbooks.com