Judge — June 14, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Perhaps They Don't knox t pocrors' | DOCTORS Py Lo Hypercritical—st. recently performed an operation on an Illinois boy report that they found the lad’s heart “‘on the right side.” As the left side is the right side for the heart, the report is not quite so clear as it New Orleans Times-Picayune Louis doctors who sounds. No Chance—‘ Doctor,” said the no- torious tightwad, “do you think you can get this tooth out without causing a shock to my nervous system?” “['m afraid not,” replied the dentist, dryly It will cost you a dollar.” —Bir- mingham Age-Herald. And Don't You Remember: The kindly medico who gave his nag a lump of sugar before coming into the house. The venerable Esculapian who always had spots on the front of his Prince Albert The extraordinary medico who com- mented on each symptom, saying, “That doesn’t worry me.”"—Journal of the Amer- ican Medical Association. Lost Opportuni called on me today tor. “He's rich, te “Congratulations! doctor. “What him?” “Nothing. I wrong with him. “Ah! my boy, you still have a great deal to learn about your profession.”— Birmingham Age-Herald, —“ My first patient said the young doc- replied the elderly was the matter with ‘ouldn’t find a thing “JOURNAL ISM Getting it Straight—“ This is an arti- cle about trapshooters, a worthy and en- thusiastic class. a trapshooter always a trapshooter. And tell the compositor something.” “What?” “There he doesn’t get it crap shooter.” City Journal, a good cigar in it for him if Kansas Brilliant Future—“ How about that graduate who is ambitious to break into the newspaper game?”” “have hopes of him,” replied the city editor. “Yes?” “Some of these days he’s going to write a story without trying to use all the six-syllable words in the dictionary, and it will be a corker.”—Birmingham Age- Herald, college There is a saying, once The Editor's Guess—A leading citi zen in a small town was suddenly stricken with appendicitis and an operation be- came necessary. The editor of the local paper heard of it and printed this note about it: “Our esteemed fellow citi. James L. Brown, will go to the hospital t morrow to be operated upon for the re moval of his appendix by Doctor Jones He will leave a wife and two children.”— Truth Seeker Behind the Times—“ The editor of the Morning Bugle has threatened to shoot the editor of the Daily sight.” “Will nothing keep them apart?” “I'm afraid not. The editor of the Eagle comes from Vermont. The editor of the Bugle called him a ‘carpet- bagger’ and he retaliated by calling the editor of the Bugle a ‘white-livered skunk,’” “Good heavens! Haven't those fel- lows heard that a united America has just fought a victorious war in Europe?” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Period Furnishings 20