Judge — June 14, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Spoils of the CI CHAPCAUX "CANNY SCOTS \ poor, but thrifty vf Good Coo Boss Seotswoman had been promised a gi a new bonnet by a wealthy summer resi dent One morning, as the woman was about the city for some shopping lo motor 6 Aecirerats un chapean comme elavcl'” she stopped at the home of the Scots Pile-Méle (Pare) woman and asked: “Would you rather have a felt or a straw hat, Mrs. Mac Vean?” said Mrs. MacVean. “I think YOUNG- STERS Couldn't Fool this Kid—Johnny paid his first visit toa farm the other day All his life he had lived in the heart of a great city, and when he suddenly came in sight of a haystack he stopped and gazed earnestly at what appealed to him as a new brand of architecture. “Say, Mr. Smith,” he remarked to the farmer, pointing to the haystack, “why don’t they have doors and windows in it?” “Doors and windows!" smiled the farmer. “That ain’t a house, Johnny, that’s hay.” “Don't try to josh me, Mr. Smith!” was the scornful rejoinder. “Don’t you suppose I know that hay don’t grow in lumps like that?"’—M inneapolis Tribune. It Certainly Would—* Pop! “Yes, my son.” Who was Pocahontas?” “She was an Indian Princess of Vir- ginia, who saved John Smith’s life.” “Well, Pop, it would be some contract if she was called upon to do that same act for all the John Smiths today, now, Yonkers Statesman wouldn’t it?” Progressive Finance—We were cu rious to see just what ideas our twenty cight-month-old urchin has about money We showed him some pennies and asked him what they were “That's money for the organ man,” he said. We showed him a nickel. “That's big money,” he said, and then added, “That's Hessie’s money,” Hessie - being the delightful person who honors our kitchen, - Then we showed him a $1 bill. There © was no doubt at all in his mind as to Manager of Coliseum (Ancient R where that belonged. sudden indisposition of Bibulus “ ) % unavoidably. postpo: Mother’s dollar, delphia Ledger. he said.—Phila- —Punch (London). ‘ertius, his combat with the twe Your Majesty's rind permission the turn will be taken by the well-known Bucolicus Calvus, who will give a few of L'il take a straw one, if you please, ma’ I'll maybe make a good mouthful to the cow when I'm done wi’ it!" —Ererybody’s Plumbing the Depths—An Ameri can motorist, stopped by a Scotch con stable for speeding hinted broadly that he might pay to be let off. “What, sir!” cried the constable. Dae hat I wid take a bribe? Dac ult me, sir? ye suggest ye dare to in Oh, excuse me,” said the American 1 really But supposin’ I was that kin’ 0’ much wid ye be inclined to gi Transcript. constable n, how Boston now.” put in th et that, owing ian forest-bred I his wonderful farmyard imitations. comicbooks.com