Judge — June 14, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

t Husbands Are Scarce in France I'll make her dowry 100,000 francs I'll promise not to live wit wealthy motorist, “I want some gasoline and get a move on! You will never get nywhere in the world unless you have push. Push is essential. When T was young I pushed, and that is what got me The Power of Suggestion—"I wish where Iam.” that garage man hadn't told me to leave “Well, guvnor,” said the boy “T the carburetor adjustment alone.’” reckon you'll have to push again, ‘cause “Why?” we ain’t got a drop of gasoline in the ava he mentioned it I had no idea place.’ Boston Transcript e was such a device, and now I find 1 can't Feast the temptation to tamper Not to Be Borne ‘Henry, Mrs. Flib with it."—Detroit Free Press, bers next door says she is going to get a new electric runabout.” Thoughtless Dealers—“ You didn’t “That's good. Maybe she'll take you park within four inches of the curb,” out for a little ride. thundered the police official “Oh, dear! Oh, dear!” “It’s a new car,” explained Mr. Chug- “What's the matter now?” gins, humbly; “and the dealers didn’t “You can sit there and calmly talk put a tape measure in the outfit.”— about your wife being subjected to public Washington Star humiliation!” —Birmingham Age-Herald. he t Push and Go—‘Here, boy,” said the WORDS — £¢ é Famous After-Dinner Speeches “We Have With Us This Evening. T Deem It a Great Honor. As I Gaze Into Th Faces.” “That Reminds Me of the Story of the | Fe || “Tatedligene « Menthe n Steak I Cheek. Waiter! Glossing the Facts Pa, what is a euphemism?” “Pl have to explain that by giving you an example, son.” “Yes, pa “The dictionary says a euphemism is a figure of speech by which a word or phrase more agreeable, or less offensive is substituted for one more accurately expressive of what is meant,’ as in the case of the society reporter who states that a widow who has been married three or four times is ‘led to the altar’ by a wealthy old codger who never had the slightest notion of getting married until he faced the preacher.”— Birmingham tge-Herald, Distinguished Visitors Vous n'y pensez pas, de terre! Janitor—You'll have to take the service elevator. Delivery Man that these are po Péle-Méle (Pa u don’t seem to re toes | am carrying- comicbooks.com