Judge — June 14, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Digest of the Worlds The High Cost of Giving as A Blow to Art—“Ye gods!” ex- claimed Rantington Roarer, the eminent tragedian. “What's the matter?” ber of his company. “A lodging house keeper offers me a hall bedroom for $4 a week, on condition that I do a few imitations in the parlor one night a week to entertain her guests. Have I trod the boards fortwenty years to come to this?” —Birmingham Age-Herald. asked a mem- Entire New Cast—“I see Yorick Hamm played a return engagement in Plunkville last week.” “Yep. “Has the same company he had last year?” Nope. Didn’t even have the same wife.”—Kansas City Journal. Mugging the Dutch—“ What a lov Dutch landscape!” exclaimed the a miring visitor. “You've been to Hol- land, of course?” “Why, no,” answered the a estly. “Then how were you ever able to paint such a realistic picture?” ‘To tell the truth, I copied it off a beer mug.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. tist, mod- Self-Expression—Dauba (pointing to his picture, “A Donkey ”)—What do you think of it, anyhow? Lady Friend—Lovely! And you have put so much of yourself into it, too!— Answers, The Esthetic Judge—‘ That doctor can't reset my broken nose by him- seif,”” declared the incomparable movie actress. “But he’s a competent surgeon.” “No matter. I must have a sculptor present.""—Kansas City Journal. ‘The placard reads: “Because of the gen- eral rise in prices, alms are now 30% higher than heretofore.”—La Baionnette (Paris). Not Used to the Game—“ You could have heard a pin drop while the leading man held the leading lady in passionate embrace.”” “Well? “That's why I lost patience when the musical director spoiled the scene by dropping his baton to the floor.” + “Bear with the poor man. I happen toknow that theleadingladyis his wifeand he hasn’t been married to her long enough to view such scenes with professional indifference.”—Birmingham A ge-Herald. Not the Same Thing—“ Aren't you paying too much rent for this studio, old man?” “No; high but I'll admit that the rent is too Boston Transcript. Strange if True—Galey (at the play) —Nobod, tell me that this farce ran for 200 nights in New York. Mrs. Galey (astonished) good, isn’t it? Galey—Good is right. Here's the third and last act and no bed has appea the stage as yet!—Buffalo 7 Why, Purse Strain—“Why don’t you take up golf?” “Can't afford to go south every winter to play it.”—Detroit Free Press. Anti-Satan Weapon — Clergyman, playing at historic St. Andrew's for the first time, to caddie: “What is that yawning abyss in the distance, caddie? Caddie—That'’s hell, sir. Clergyman—Indeed! What a name to give a bunker! Caddie—Ye see, sir, it’s called hell be- cause yince ye get in ye canna get out. Clergyman (after playing and landing in the bunker calls for his niblick and plays a good shot out of the hazard)— What have you got to say to that now? Caddie—O" that I have to say, sir, is, when ye dee taq yer niblick wi’ ye. Portland Telegram. His Eye on the Ball—*And Arthur,” said the sweet young thing foozling a three-foot putt. “Yes, dear,” came from the young man. “After this game you are going to speak to father, are you not, of our en- ement?”” “Yes, dear; and, believe me, I’m going to remember my game of golf and be exceedingly careful of my approach.”"— Yonkers Statesman. New Clubs for Old—First Young Lady (learning golf)—Dear me, what shall I do now? This ball is in a hole. Second Young Lady (looking over a book of instruction) —Let—me—see. I presume you will have to take a stick of the right shape to get it out. First Young Lady—Oh, yes, of course. See if you can find one like a dustpan and brush.—Journal of the American Medical Association comicbooks.com