Judge — May 24, 1919 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Z) fs YOUNGSTERS Sometimes—A teacher was telling her class little stories in natural history, and she asked if anyone could tell her what a groundhog was. Up went a little hand, waving frantically. “Well, Tommy, you may tell us what a ground hog is.” “Please, ma'am, it’s a sausage.” Ottawa Evening Citizen. They Did Not—“Remember, son, Garfield drove mules on a cowpath and Lincoln split rails.” “IT know, dad; but, say, did any of these presidents ever crank a cold motor in a blizzard for un hour before he discovered that he didn’t have any gaso- line?”"—Richmond Times-Dispatch. , Dad's Bitterness —7ommy—And have you noticed, dad, how often mother says, “And so on, and so on’? His Father—Yes, my son; but it never applies to buttons.—Detroit Free Press. Too Truthful—Mother—There were two apples in the cupboard, Tommy, and now there is only one. How’s that? Tommy (who sees no way of escape) Well, ma, it was so dark in there I didn’t see the other.—Saturday Journal. It Smacked of Osculation—/nspec- tor—Do you teach observation? Teacher—V es. Inspector—Then I will test the class. Now, children, shut your eyes and sit still. The inspector made a slow whis- tling sort of noise, and followed with, “Now, children, what did I do?” For some time there was no answer, but ultimately one little boy piped out: “ Kissed teacher. London Tit-Bits. The Balance of Power N Bird of a Weight—Sondags Nisse (Stockholm) Simplified Reading—The governess was listening to the children’s reading lesson, and her attention was, perhaps. wandering a little when suddenly she was brought back to earth by hearing young Timothy declaim: This is a warm doughnut. Step oni imothy, whatever are you readin; she exclaimed. “Let me see your book.” She looked and this is what she found “This is a worm. Do not step on it.” Philadelphia North-American, And Harry Laughed—The head of the family glanced up from the paper and remarked: “T see there’s a new hippopotamus at the Zoo.” Glancing at his son a moment later, he asked: “What are you laughing at, Harry?” “Twas jus’ laughin’ to think of a stork carryin’ a hipperpotamus,”” returned Harry.””— Boston Globe, THE OLD SOD Where Pat Was—In a small village in Ireland the mother of a soldier met the village priest, who asked her if she had had bad news. “Sure, I have.” she said, “Pat has been killed.” “Oh, I'm very sorry,” said the priest. “Did you receive word from the War Office?” “No,” she said, “I received word from himself.” The priest looked perplexed and said, “But how is that?” “Sure,” she said, “here is the letter; read it for yourself.” The letter said, “Dear Mother—I am now in the Holy Land.” —San Francisco Argonaut The Discriminating Shopper ‘Twenty-five cents! 1 le (Paris), A