Judge — May 24, 1919 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

yor’s Beneficence chickens tion VU see Reaching a Verdict —" You say the jury is deliberating?” Yes,” replied the sarcastic lawyer “The only juror who has a thimbleful of brains is probably telling eleven num skulls that my client is guilty.”"—Bir mingham Age-Herald The Surest Way—Angry Father—1i my son marries that burlesque actress, I shall cut him off without a cent, and you can tell him so. Lawyer—There’s no use bothering him; I'll just tell the actress. —Twen Topics A Dramatic Instant —“Is the defendant ready to appear? She is still conferring with her law yers.”” “Why the delay?” “I understand they are trying to de- cide on the psychological moment for her to faint in court.” —Birmingham A ge- Herald. fair and cter Without Argument—The wit quickness of repartee which char izes Sir F. E. Smith, who is the new Brit ish lord chancellor, with a salary of £10,000, at the age of forty-six, is pro- verbial. In one of his early cases he was opposed by an elderly, prosy, long winded lawyer, who spoke for six hours in his concluding address. Then Sir Frederick rose. Looking at the judge and jury he smiled slightly and said: “Your honor, I will follow the example of my learned friend who has just concluded and submit the case without argument.”"— Argonaut Foolish 4 lady we once knew in Summitt Had a uke, and she surely did strum it But as far as the air Is concerned, we dec 4 She couldn’t sing, whistle, or hum it Charles Leedy in Youngstown Telegram She loved to eat ta in Summitt, And ate it each time she could bum it Her teeth are gone. now, And like Rosie the cow, Where food is concerned she must gum it Bide Dudley in the New York World The Financier See these two pennies? to spend whi down again, She stuttered, this lady of Summitt, And could not, tho she tried, overcome it; She'd gurgle and sputter, Then shockingly mutter “G-g-g-g-g-gosh-dummit!"" —Ted Robinson in Plain Dealer. When this ragtime discourser of Summitt Laniated her lingo, we vum, it Was well shredded, Bud, And as clear as the mud In a trench to the cootic that swum it Rody McPhee in the Springfield Union Why kid the dear lady from Summitt? She isn’t a beauty—far from it. But she earns dough in stacks Making rubber nick-nacks And her roll—it would thrill you to thumb it! —Kee Maxwell in Akron Times 20 But the Unless, as a tight-wad, she'll mum it Quite a distance will go oll of this lady of Summitt Yo secure her a beau Who will make it his object to crumb it Fat 0 POLITICS Ruffled—“ Your spec to lack polish.” “TL hope it did,” replied Senator Sor- ghum. “I've been called a ‘smooth article’ long enough. I want to treat rough.” —Iashington Star. h seemed to me Nothing But Trouble—“What «i you understand by the initiative and referendum?” “With me,” said Senator Spug, “it merely means that some guy’ is always trying to start something.””— Kansas Cily Journal, Graftless—"What do they mean by an academic question?” One in which there is no profit: for anybody,” said the Old Codger matter which way it is decided.” ville Courier Journal “no Louise Busy Explainer— “Do your constitu ents want you to explain the League of Nations?” “All the time,” answered Senator Sor- ghum; “I am sometimes tempted to call it the league of explanations.”—IWash- ington Star Flattery & 3 ard-of, ai is simply unk indeed comicbooks.com