Judge — May 24, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The March to Liberty—Russian Version. H E L P Bolshevism ?—" This is terrible,” said Mr. Dubwaite. ‘ “What's the matter?” asked Mrs Dubwaite “TL passed through the kitchen just now and saw that our cook had hung up a red flag.” “Oh, that’s just a piece of one of your old red Manned undershirts that has been put away for years. [ gave it to her to polish the stove with.”—Birmingham 1 ge-Herald The Blow Habit—* I had to get rid of that servant girl.” “What was the trouble?” “You see she had worked so long in an ammunition factory that every time she heard a whistle blow she wanted to quit work.”"—Detroit Free Press. Fifty-fifty—Mistress—In the time it takes me to tell you how to do the work I could do it myself Maid—Yes'm. And in the time it takes Me to listen so could 1.—Passing Show. The Efficiency Test—“So she had to let her cook go?” “Yes.” “Incompetent? “Very. She made cookies so bad that even the children wouldn't help them- selves to them.”” —-Detreit Free Press. Makes Good — Mrs. Flathush— My new cook is always producing new dishes. She is very original Mrs. Bensonhurst—T should say she was original. My cook breaks a lot of ‘em, but she never produces any new ones, [ notice. —Yonkers Statesman. The Rash Rider Le Contréleur—Eh! Thomme, vous coyages ans billet; descende= tout de suite! Conduct Hey there, you! If you haven't got a ticket, you'll have to get off!—Le Péle- Méle (Parts), 7 Sydney Bulletin. WET Unenlightened — Crawford — 1 hear you have a new doctor. What was the matter with the old one? Crabshaw—He didn’t believe that al cohol had any medicinal value.—Town Topics Foolish Query—Tectotaler—Stay, my friend! Do you think that glass of vile filth will quench your thirst? The Fes B. (fervently) —Good ‘eavens, mate! I jolly well ‘ope not! Passing Shore Where Percentage Never Falls— And in case the brewers are allowed to make 2.75 per cent. beer, we take it for granted the grand old Ultimate Consumer will be permitted to pay 100 per cent. for, it, as usual.—AMacon Telegraph Insanity—Veast—Do you think we will have a sane Fourth of July this year? Crimsonbeak—Not if Prohibition goes into effect on July rst we won't.—Yon- hers Statesman