Judge — May 24, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

S His Hope—" How did Wombat get so banged up?” He was run over by an automobile ful about it.” he figures on getting enoug sto buy a car of his own.” He Courier-Journal A. Useful: Animal—"Why do | keep that porcupine about the place?” | Well, these motorists didn’t’ mind running over my hens, but they give that berth. They don’t you porcupine a wide no punctured. tires.” cisco Chronicle want Cussedness of the Inanimate “There is something desperately mean about an automobile.” “ How so?” “Deacon Brown had his machine out this afternoon and it broke down in front of one of the worst saloons in town.” Boston Transcript. Advantage Over an Auto—" You seem to have to tinker a great deal with your motor-boat.”” “Ido.” “Much the matter with it?” “She never has tire trouble. That's about all I can say.”"—Louisville Courier Journal. adore Tin u the truth, I me de menthe myself.” “Don’t you simp Vell, to tell y prefer A Parade Day Opportunity a dernitre place a you are, lady. Nice little end scat hird branch, only twenty cents Méle (Paris). It Missed AM Right—Redd—He took his car apart yesterday Greene—But I saw him out in it to-day “Oh, yes; he put it together again.” “Did he get all the parts back? “Well, when [ saw him in hi day the engine seemed to be missing.” Yonkers Statesman car to- A Matter of Taste tto, Mrs. Verriphat?” on’t care much about these new-fangled drinks—I much ing Show (London). Y_ HEBRS YAN K S The Real Thing man officer's helmet?” “So this is a Ger- “Ve “Are you sure it’s genuine? I under- stand clory in France is manufactur ing helmets to sell to American soldier: as souvenirs.” “T guess this one is genuine,” replied the doughboy, calmly. “I got it in ex change for an uppercut landed on a Prussian’s jaw." — Birmingham — Age Herald. A Hungry Bunch—A former railroad brakeman, now serving in France, was bringing in a bunch of prisoners “What have you there?” inquired an officer, back of the lines. “Just a string of empties. sir,” was his prompt reply York Central Maga- sine A Real Grievance—“Some of these guys have got a funny way of doing their bit.” wailed one of the the San Pedro submarine base the other day “Here I blowed home for a vacation and finds this guy parading around with my girl “LT nails him and wants to know what the big idea is. . “'Tain’t nawthin’ wrong,” he comes back. ‘I just take her down to the news- per office every day to see if you've got killed or not.’ "—Portland Tele- gram boys at (Ore.) The Colonel's Idea—The colonel beckoned to his orderly. “Smith, | wish you'd ride into the town and get the correct time.” “Why, sir.” haven't got a watch.” A watch, a watch,” the colonel roared. “What in the name of sense do you want a watch for? Write it down on a piece of paper, man.”—Pathfinder. Smith hesitated. “I An Artful Dodger—“Henry, my dear- est friend told me a girl in France is writ- ing you.” he deuce she did! Well, the little girl who writes to me is a mere child about seven years old. You see, I—er—was billeted with her family.’ “But how can a child of that age write you sixteen-page letters?” “Oh—er—she dictates them to her dear old grandmother.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. comicbooks.com