Judge — May 17, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He Mentioned [t— Mrs. Bacon Do you ever speak of my cooking to other men, dear? Mr, Bacon—Oh, yes. “T'm glad of that dear?" “Oh, I don’t remember just what I say, but, of course, I have to tell the doc tor what ails me!""—Yonkers Statesman What do you say Not What He Ordered — Chatty Waiter (glancing out of window)—The rain'll be here in a minute or two now sir Ingry Customer—Well, 1 it. I'm waiting for a chop. Weekly. didn’t order Pearson's Customer — By Has Curious Customer Jove, I am glad to see you back. the strike been settled? Waiter—What strike, sir? Customer—Oh, come now! Where have you been since you took my order? Stray Stories Sad Notes—“There’s music in the ringing of a cash register.” “Maybe so,” said the lunch counter patron, who had just handed over his last dollar for a light lunch, “but I don’t care for that kind of music when I fur nish the motif." —Birmingham Age-Her ald. Resignation—* What'll you have?” asked the waiter “I'm not predicting.” replied the weary citizen. “I'm going to order a cup of strong coffee with fresh cream and a steak done rare. Then I’m going to eat what you bring me and say no more.” Washington Star Three Grades Only—“ Instead of go ing without beef altogether, why don't you accustom yourself to cating the cheaper cuts?” “There are no cheaper cuts. There are only the expensive, the more expensive and the unattainable.”—Boston Tran- script “TL guess The Gluttonous Teuton we'll have to feed the Germans “Tt looks that way “Call me vindictive, if you like, but I'm unalterably opposed to putting them back on their former basis of seven meals a day.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald, Tea-sing Her It has been very weak f a LAWYERS Heading Him Off—"This law is a queer business.” “How so?” “They swear a man to tell the truth.” “What then?” “And every time he shows signs of doing it, some lawyer objects.” —Detroit Free Press Knew His Glient—Chient (just ac quitted on burglary charge)—Well, good by. I'll drop in on you sometime. Counsel—Al right; but make it in the daytime, please.—Sydney Bulletin. Same Old Seesaw neda baixa ases and the value lla (Barcelona). a vianda puja i la ‘The value of food inc of money descends.—E 9 7 Landon Concrete Mlustration — Physiology Teacher—Robert, you may explain how we hear things. Bobby—Va tells "em to ma as a secret and ma gives ‘em away at the bridge club.—Boston Transcript Turning the Other Eye—Her (sigh- ing)—Oh, I met such a lovely, polite man today Him—Where was that? “On the street. I must have been carrying my umbrella cagjessly, for he bumped his eye into it.” And I said, ‘Pardon me,’ and he said, ‘Don't men- tion it—I have another eye le.’ "— Cleveland Leader. Her Superstition—" Is your wife su- perstitious?” “Very, but in a only I don’t get you.” The signs she believes in are all bad There seems to be no good luck Detroit one-sided, manner ones. whatever in her superstitions.” Free Press Her Size—“ How do fish come?” fal- tered the young wife. “In various sizes.”” “Then give me a pair of sevens. That is the size of my glove." —Louisville Cou- rier-Journal,