Judge — May 17, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sober—" What the Evidently was banquet for?” “To welcome a minister plenipoten tiary.”” “T hope you didn’t drink too much.” “If Lhad I would never have attempted that word.”—Kansus City Journal A Thousand to One—There are a thousand roundabout ways of telling a lie, but there is only one way of telling the truth.—Ed. Howe's Monthly. “ Circumstances but words as Verbal alter not well.” xplain yourself.” “When the captain of a vessel ships a cook he hires him; but when a house- wife ships her cook she fires her."’—Bos- ton Transcript. Vagaries only cases Recommended — Flubdub—How are the life-preservers on this boat? Guczler—Fine. V've just had three as good as I ever drank.—Topeka Journal. Worse Than That He-L say, just look at that poor She—Good heavens, no, dear! “That's y every night, and there you sce the effect of it Passing Show (London) 952) |Z0 oN MATRIMONY arcity Extraordinary—"Why « I Wombat a Napoleon of finance?” “Because he had his salary raised six and his wife hasn't found it rin Topics months ago out yet.” Quite So ried you always engaged a cab when we went anywhere.” “True enough, but now we can do our hugging at home.""—Aansas City Journal. John, before we were mar Repartee—//e— Living in a flat is ex- tremely tiresome. She—Not half so tiresome as living with one.—Bultimore American. Exploded Theory—The married man concluded to try out his new. theory. Addressing his spouse he said “My dear, I should like to go to Jones’ tonight for several hours. Mr. Jones is not ill and does not require any sitting up with. If he did, I should let his wife do it. Mr, Jones is perfectly well, so far as I know, except for a certain itching for a poker game. He is a notoriously rotten poker player, and very likely could be nicked for several dollars in the course of the evening. There might be some thing to drink—he did not specify con cerning that. He only said my presence would be appreciated. I am sure that since I have told you the truth about this affair you will consent to my going. Am I right?” He was not.—Kansas City Star. Why—Judge—Why did marry two wives? Bigamist—I married one for love and the other for money; you know, judge, that you can’t get everything in one woman,—Town Topics. you