Judge — May 17, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Unsatisfied the price of wheat now.” “No.” replied Farmer Corntossel “But they might go a leetle further and guarantee us the money without puttin’ us to so much trouble raisin’ the wheat.” Washington “You can’t complain of Too Thorough—A certain farmer, who lives not far from Youngstown, had the habit of Collecting so many old bug: gies and wagons that his yard was lit- tered with them most of the time, The wife of the farmer, who has en- tirely different ideas about the way things should be conducted, resolved to make a cleanup. Accordingly, she assembled the ram That awkward moment when you would give t shackle vehicles in an open space, set fire to them, and gleefully watched them dis appear. When the husband returned from town he drove to the backyard, looked about him, rubbed his eves and cried excitedly: reat bubbling beeswax, Henrietta where is everything?” “Why,” replied his wife burned up a lot of old trash.” The husband gulped, gasped, clearey! his throat and then blurted out: “But heavens to Betsy, Henrietta, two of them wagons and one buggy was bor rowed! ""— Youngstown Telegram. “LT just Si's Haste—Hi Hayrick—1 seen Si Medders running for a doctor yester day. Josh Hoe—Wot ailed him? Si’s too derned mean to run fer a doctor fer any body but himself.—Boston Globe The Slin of the Tongue ¢ world and all to unsay what you have 18 Joys of Tobacco Buying in Berlin “Lam, but | had line for the tobac (Berlin), Der Brum No Great Loss goldbricked, hey?” “Well, it's a question as to who got goldbricked,” said Farmer Whiffletree: “LT took that brick in exchange for sum mer board.” —Aansas City Star. “Got His Progress—Tommy Hodge, whe had been apprenticed to Farmer Hicks. had not proved what might be called a conspicuous success, and so when old Mr Hodge came along one day to ask whai progress the lad was making the old farmer looked dubious. “Well.” said he, * ‘tisn’t as T want to discourage you or your son either. He don't do nothing wrong—ner nothing at all if ’e ¢ Ip it. But I will say that in my opinion, if your son ‘ad another hand ‘e’d want another pocket to put it in!"— London Tit-Bits Rounded Up—An old sailor ap. proached a farmer for a meal one day saving he was willing to work. “[ will give you a meal,” said the farmer, “if you will round up those sheep on the common there and drive them into this fold.”” In three hours’ time the sailor came back looking hot, but happy. Glancing over the gate in the field, the ner saw the sheep safely in the fold here’s a hare sitting up among ‘em,” he exclaimed. “Do you mean that litle fellow asked the sailor. “Why, that’s the little beggar who gave me all the trouble. I thought it was a !amb!"—Stray Stories. Comicbooks.com