Judge — May 10, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RAILROADS The Train Talke: Porter) —“ Upper 5?” “Right here, ma'am.” “Any chance of getting “No, ma’am; all taken.” “No chance of getting a lower?” “No, ma'am; they're all taken.” “No chance even after we get started?” “No, ma'am.” vhat they told me at (A Woman and a lower?” the went carly yesterday morning. Thought sure I'd get a lower going early A New Turn to the Old Theme Bone Dry!—New York World t—two days ahead. They told me were all sold.” es, m.” “You don’t think there'd be a chance ting a lower?” No, ’m.”" “You would think going that would be time cnough time do we get in?” “Six fifty.” “That's about before six—no, seven to seven, isn’t it?” “Yes, 'm.” “Do we have to get out then?” “No, ma'am. You can stay in the car till seven thirty.” “Well, better wake me about seven.” “Yes, 'm.”” “Oh, porter!” “Yes, ’m.” Better wake me at quarter to seven. Then I won't have to hurry.” “Yes, ’m. “And if you hear of a lower, you'll let me know, won't you?” “Yes, 'm.”—F. P. A.'s Conning Tower, New York Tribune. as early as What let's see—ten minutes yes, ten minutes A Timely Question What shall we do with the ex-kaiser? Bystander (London), The Shrewd Traveler—“Change at Bristol,” said the booking-clerk to a West Country dame who was taking a ticket f ide station to London. them tricks, my the old lady. I wants my cha vefore I gets into that there nudon Tit-Bits lad.” de When the Seine Played Pranks on Paris Voila bien ma rol au temps des Cinondation.’” “Just my luck! Rented this E ment apartment at the and now here come the floods! Méle (Paris). glish base- ¢ air raids Artistic Endeavor—“We'll have to take that last scene over again,” sa’ director, “Good heavens!" exclaimed the emi nent tragedian, who was trying his luck in the movies. “I can’t go through a scene like that twice in the same da) I've never done it in all my stage caree “Then, there’s no place for you on the screen. Why, our comedian, Fat Bill Walrus, tumbled head foremost into a tub of water seven times this morning try- ing to do a fall that wouldn’t damage his reputation.” — Birmingham Age-Herald. The Connoisseur That material dollars a yard. Resourceful ‘The movie star went on a spree, and when he reported at the studio he had three day's’ growth of hair on his face.” “What did the director do? home to shave?” “No; he started a desert island pic ture.”—Film Fun Send him To Say Nothing of Theda—.A/rs. Hartley—Why don’t you like the idea of providing motion pictures for the un- fortunate inmates of the penitentiary? Mr. Hartley—There are far too many imitators of Chaplin at large now.—Buf- falo Express Shakespeare in the Movies—‘‘I see the movies are willing to give credit to whom credit is due.” “What now?” “Ina current production of Hamlet I notice the scenario is by William Shake- speare.”"—Kansas City Journal. comicbooks.com