Judge — May 10, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a WAY-FARERS A Useless Asset—Lady—Why don't you go to work? Don’t you know that a rolling-stone gathers no moss? . Tramp—Madam, not to evade your question at all, but merely to obtain in formation, may I ask what practical util- ity moss is to a man in my condition? London Tit-Bits He Gets By—“ Before I unchain the dog, answer me this. Are you one of these here Bolshevi No, madam, I’m just a plain hobo or bum.” “In that case, here's a piece Kansas City Journal. of pie A Tramp at Bay—Tramp—Please, kind gentleman, could you help a poor blind man? Gentlemen—But how am I to know you are blind? Tramp—Because I called you a gentle man.—Stray Stories. Asking a Favor—A seedy-looking in dividual managed to get into the private office of a business man known for his philanthropy “IT have walked a good many miles to see you, sir,” said the seedy one to the successful “because people told that you were very kind to poor chaps like rm “Oh, they said that they?” “Yes, sir, that’s why I came.”” “And are you g the same way?" “Yes, sir.” In that case I shall be greatly obliged to you if you will be good enough to con- tradict this rumor.”—Lon don Tit-Bits ing back The Genius—Tramp Please, sir, will you give me a shillin’ to git somethin’ to Gentleman — You've got a sixpence in your hand now What's that for? Tramp—That’s to tip the waiter.—London Pass.” «1 kee ing Show lutionist. —Simg right now “‘Orace—V us; if we’ad a bit er bacon we might ‘ave some bacon and eggs, if s.— Tatler (London) we ‘ad Idle—“I don't sce why a big healthy man like you should be out of I have the best excuse in the world, ma'am. My troubles are due to the weather entirely.” “The weather?” “Yes, shoveler.” m. I'm a professional snow Detroit Free Press. Of the Old School right on s (Munich). work even if they do call me a counter-revo- , (0 d WHEEZES Hebrewflage—A Hebrew small store- keeper, to the surprise of his brethren, suddenly decorated his window with a gorgeous new blind “Nice blind of yours, Isaac,” quoth his neighbor. oes, ron.” “Who paid for it, Isaac?" “The customers paid, Aaron.” “What! The customers paid for it, Isaac?” “Yes, Aaron. I put a leedle box on my counter ‘for the blind.’ And they paid for it.’—Winnipes Tele- gram. Big Game Preserve—“I understand you come from a great game country?” said the lady on the committee to wel come the grizzly warriors of the Western plains. “Indeed, yes, ma'am,” was the con boy’s reply. “What is the biggest game vou have in Wyoming?” “Poker, ma'am man Yonkers States- Obscurity of Speech—“I understand you are a linguist.” Oh, ves indeed.” “Do you speak Russian?” “No. What's the use? Even the Russians them under- selves do not seem t stand one another now." Washington Star. Time Limit—“It says here that a Missouri man boasts that he has a umbrella that has been in his possession years,” said Smith or twenty “Well,” replied Jones, “that’s long cnou: He ought to return Cin cinnati Enquirer. It Was Tried Once “I believe that everybody ought to say exactly what he thinks in his owr way.” “And yet,” replied the slow-speaking man, “that plan didn’t seem to help much at the wer of Babel.’"’"—Detroit Free Press.