Judge — April 26, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Soiled Innocence “This is my little boy: come and - and then go and wash THE OLD SOD Efficiency—The expert had inspected Flaherty’s division of the road, but found little that was wrong. As they walked back to headquarters along the track the expert kicked something loose in,the road- bed. “Go on ahead,” he said to Flaherty, “T'll join you later.” As soon as Flaherty was out of sight the expert got busy: and rooted out two railroad spikes. He dropped them into his pocket and went ahead to see Flaherty. “Well, Mr. Flaherty, everything ac- counted for?” he asked. “Yes,” said Flaherty “All tools and equipment on hand?” “So far as I know,” said Flaherty. How about these?” asked the expert, producing the spikes “So you found them!” exclaimed Fla herty. “Begorra, I had two men o three days lookin’ for them.”—J the American Medical Association. wurnal oJ Lightening the Load—There had been a slight accident in a Pennsylvania coal-mine, with the result that Casey was partly buried by a small quantity of earth, Callahan, the leader of the re: called down to Case: . Casey. We're rescuin’ ye.” Whereupon there came from the earth a muflled voice, “Is that big McIntire up there wid ye “Shure he is.” “Thin ask him plaze to step off the rooms. I've enough on top o’ me widout him.” —Harper’s Mage ne Better Not Mentioned—Cuassidy (after the parade)—An’ how did Oi look to ye on the horse, Dinny? O'Brien—Ye're a friend iv mine, Mike so ye kin thrust me niver t’ tell a livin’ sowl.—Baston Transcript. She Didn't—With a stormy look on his face, the master of the house waylaid the servant in the kitchen. “Look here,” he began, angrily, “how re you tell my wife what home this morning, after Ih ne 1 came told you hot to? The Irish girl eyed him steadily Shure, an’ Oi didn’t!” she replied calmly. “She asked me pwhat toime yez ly tould her that Oi was came in, an’ O} too busy gettin’ the breakfast ready to look at the clock.” den 7 Biss Party of the Second Part Den my eller ar Is this a marriage or ‘openhagen) Too Deep for Him An Irish sailor, after pulling in fifty fathoms of line, mut- tered to himself: “Sure, it’s as long today and tomorrow! It’s a good week's work for any five men. More of it yit? The say’s mighty deep, to be sure.” Then he suddenly stopped short; and, looking up to the officer on watch, he exclaimec “Bad luck to me, sorr, if 1 don’t belave somebody's cut off the other end of this line!" —Congregationalist. The Obsession BAD BREAKS Ought to be Quiet— Wanted to rent or buy, summer cottage on lake not n than fifty miles out. George E. Klotter Chicago Tribune Odd Shoes —"\ brisk but eyed business man, in a brar i-new 7 of tan shoes whose yellow mustache had been curled and pomaded by a barber.” “The Peanut Hull.” Saturday Feen Post. The Gobble Uns Will Get You Take four ounces of soft’ white sugar, and one WELL EATEN egg. — Ree pe in Answers The Public Appetite jest actor blame public for bisyue pla New York Telegram. Over the Left—“Spilt sult broken friendship and trouble. A pinch EATEN and THROWN OVER THE LEFE SHOULDER modifies the effects.” Home Companion Woman afting — “ Iustrations of everything that a woman had ever wor or could ever wear, since the first FIG LEAF plucked from the APPLE TEED.” “Shop Girls.” Eternal Youth— “Wanted, Cashier SMART MAN OVER So, EXEMPT FROM MILI TARY SERVICE.” Derby (Eng.) Express Adv. The Great Botany Murder—“ An other wonderful plant is ‘The Leaf of Life’ found in Japan. You sprpiy cax- NOT KILL THIS PLANT. The only way botanists can keep a specimen is to KILI IT WITH A HOT TRON.""—London Answers Attaboy!—"Mrs. Hawby cuaxcrp the audience with vocal selections fa State Journal. comicbooks.com