Judge — April 26, 1919 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ci Strong on Criticism —" The German philosophers are great crities,"” remarked the very literary person “Yes,” replied Miss Cayenne. “I'm afraid that if we attempt to feed them some will even go so far as to criticise the food." —Washington Star The Real Cause for Tears —* Doesn't peeling onions make you weep?” . but paying twenty cents a pound Boston Transcript for "em docs.” Foresight—//e—L think I'll have an other helping of this meat substitute She—So will I HMe—No you don't; if we both get ill who's to go for the doctor?—Answers Her Pie Crust—Newedd—Did you run short of flour, Helen? ‘The pie crust doesn’t half cover the pie. Mrs. Newedd—1 know, dear; your mother told me that you like your pic very short.— Louisville Courier-Journal H E L Pp The Gow in a China Shop—* So your cook has left, Mrs. Sububbs?” “Yes, she has really gone.” “T thought she made a promise stay for sure.” “So she did, so she did; but she broke that like she did everything else.” Florida Times-Union Foresight—Mr. Feedwell came home well pleased with his achievement at the employment agency. “IT engaged two cooks today,” he said “Why two?” said his wife, “We need only one.”” “T know,” said Mr. Feedwell, “but one comes tomorrow and the other a week from tomorrow.” —Pittsburgh Chronicle: Telegraph. Efficient—Mrs. Holm Boddy—Vhe Bureau sent me another housemaid to- day, but she wouldn’t take the place. Mr. H. B.—I thought they sent effi- cient servants Mrs. H. B.—Oh, she was! She swept the room with a glance, and dusted.— Town Topics Slow But Sure What demobilizati to“ Tommy.” Saturday Journal Looked So— Mr. Flathush—Who was that calling on the cook so late last night?” Mrs, Flatbush—Oh, that was our milk- man.” “And who was that calling on her so carly this morning?” “Oh, that was the night: watchma “Well, dear, don’t you think she’s got her dates mixed!""—Vonkers Statesman Our Autocrats—Mrs. Sones—The cook refuses to get up cartier than 7.30. Jones—Ask her if she won't do it for a couple of days until I can rearrange my business.-—Boston Transcript ant ~ Couldn't Fool Her—* It's natural,” said Senator Simmons in an after-dinner specch, “that we should be suspici even unreasonably suspicious, of the Ger As. mans for many years to come. “We can’t help it—we're all going to be like Aunt Tabitha. Aunt Tabitha and Uncle Hiram started, you know, for a holiday visit to New York, and at Phil adelphia Unele Hiram got out to buy a newspaper, and the train went off with out him “But the railroad people were more than kind to Uncle Hi in his predicament They put him on an extra-rapid express and he actually arrived in New York twenty minutes ahead of Aunt Tabitha He stood at the exit in his black Sunday suit, carpetbag in hand, when she came forth “*Here we are again, hey?” he said, clasping her waist jocosely. ‘I tell ye labithy, gal, [ thought I'd lost ye for good.” “But Aunt Tabitha had drawn herself up straight and stiff. She was frowning as black as a thundercloud. “You clear out, mister!” she hissed *None o’ yer New York confidence tricks on me; [left my Hiram in Philadelphia.” Detroit Free Pass Including Container “(est une occasion, je (ai payée quatre sous.” ce sa boite?™ “It’s a bargain, [ tell yer. I paid four cents for him.” “Countin’ his box?"—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). Oo P E comicbooks.com